kat8cha: (Superheroes - PG I think not)
[personal profile] kat8cha
Title: Friendly Instructs in the Art of Self Pleasure
Author: Kat8
Pairing: Robin/Superboy, Superboy/Kaldur
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Poor Superboy has never masturbated. Or had an erection. Clearly this must be fixed.
A/N: [livejournal.com profile] yj_anon_meme prompt. The boys, particularly Wally and Dick, but Kaldur should be there too, have to teach Superboy about masturbation.

"You mean you've never-?" It shouldn't surprise Kid Flash, it's obvious from Robin's face that it doesn't surprise him. Aqualad, who is leaning against the wall pretending very hard not to listen, looks only mildly surprised. Wally glances between everyone so fast his face is a blur before he settles on staring hard at Superboy.

Superboy doesn't look surprised or uncomfortable, unlike Aqualad who looks both. He also doesn't look terribly interested, or terribly amused, which Robin does. Mostly he just looks clueless. It's an expression that Kid Flash is sadly used to seeing on Superboy's face, although maybe not sadly because it's actually a really cute look. It's like a puppy staring at a butterfly, totally confused as to whether he should pounce it or run away from it. "Before you three freed me from Cadmus I was only allowed outside of my…" Superboy wrestles with the wording. He'd called it a room, once, and a prison, another. "My tube for testing, and even then it was only under the control of the GeGnomes."

"But it's been months since then!" Kid Flash whizzes over towards Superboy and then away then back to Superboy and he walks a slow (comparatively) circle around the taller teen. Superboy barely flinches. "Seriously, months! And you've never…" Wally makes a frustrated noise, "not even in the shower? Or what about that time we fought that guy who made all our clothes go away? You didn't go masturbate after that?"

"I don't…" Superboy glances away from Kid Flash over towards Robin, who shrugs, and then Aqualad, who rubs the back of his neck. "I know what… masturbation is but I've never…" Superboy mirrors Aqualad. "I've never… gotten an erection?"

This makes Kid Flash stop for all of five seconds. Five whole seconds. "Never?"

"Never." Superboy confirms.

"Maybe you're incapable of one?" Robin queries and it's said in the tone that Wally generally considers 'teasing' but Kid Flash has also seen Robin use right before smacking some bad guy's ass down so…

"That's horrible." Kid Flash says before Superboy can answer or Robin can continue. "I bet you are, you just haven't had the right stimulus. Hold on, I'll go get-" Robin's hand is heavy on Kid Flash's shoulder and his grip is tight. "What? What'd I say?" Robin glances around the room, his eyes alighting in certain shadowy corners, and it takes Kid Flash less than a second to understand. They all knew that the common areas of the base were bugged by Batman, he probably had audio and video and heat seeking missiles. And they were talking about porn in the rec room.

Oh god! Batman'd heard him talking about masturbation! Gross!

"I think we should take this discussion to someone's room." Aqualad spoke up for the first time. "Mine should be fine."

Robin looked thoughtful for a second before nodding and pushing Superboy in the direction of Kaldur. "Let's go. Also," he grinned, "I have a plan."

Kid Flash had to grin because Robin's plans? Always the best.


Superboy still wasn't sure what the problem was. The GeGnomes had taught him about sexual reproduction (or, well, they'd glossed over it, Superboy was sure that should he have completed his time in the tube that they would have gone more in depth) but as a clone of Superman Superboy was pretty sure that he *couldn't* get a female pregnant. Kryptonian's were aliens, which were another species. Superboy had no idea what the genetic structure of a Kryptonian looked like versus that of a human's. Granted they all looked the same, he hadn't noticed any obvious differences between himself and Kid Flash and Robin in the team shower room (where Robin showered with his mask *on*) although there were differences between him and Kaldur. Aqualad was Atlantean and he had webbed fingers and webbed toes as well as the gills on his neck. He was also of a different color than Superboy, but Superboy had been taught that racial discrimination was not something that Superman did and thus not something *he* should do and he didn't really see the point anyway. But he did want to ask Aqualad, sometimes, if he identified as African-Atlantean.

He figured it might be rude, though.

"Should we call the girls?" Superboy asks when they walk into Aqualad's room. Kaldur looks shocked, and Kid Flash looks this odd cross between excited and horrified. Robin appears thoughtful.

"Artemis might be up for it, but I think Megan would be a bad idea." Then Robin grins at Superboy in a way that makes the Kryptonian clone's heart drop into his stomach. "I think it should be a boy thing, though, right KF? AL?"

"I… suppose." Aqualad says as he closes his door. His room is dark, Superboy notes, and there's a fish tank but it's empty. It burbles pleasantly however and Superboy finds himself standing there staring at the light and the bubbles for all of half a minute before he realizes everyone in the room is staring at him.

"Why aren't there fish in it?" He asks and everyone in the room sighs.

Kid Flash mutters something about how he thought he was easily distracted.

"Because of my role under my king I have the ability to hear ocean creatures. I am not quite as good at it as my king's son, Garth, but I've developed an affinity. I find the idea of keeping fish in a bowl… disquieting. Not that many of them mind, but some of them do." Aqualad's broad shoulders roll in an easy shrug. "I do, however, appreciate the tank when I have trouble sleeping."

Superboy wonders, briefly, if a tank would help him sleep. He often had trouble as well, although he is not sure if it is for the same reasons as Aqualad. For Superboy it is because he fears, when he sleeps, that he is still back in his tank at Cadmus and this has all been a dream initiated by the GeGnomes to teach him about teamwork. It's a nightmare that leaves him lying awake more often than not.

"Okay, okay, enough talking." Robin wraps his hand (it's so small but so strong) around Superboy's wrist and he pulls Superboy over to Aqualad's bed. The bed is covered in a navy duvet and several pillows and when Superboy is pushed onto it the bed roils slightly. Robin flops down next to Superboy and is bounced along by the waves. "You got a water bed, AL? That seems a bit overkill."

"A water bed?" Kid Flash jumps on top of it making the mattress roil and buck even more, Superboy has to dig his fingers into the duvet to keep from jumping off of it. "Sweet! Un-The Flash made me bring in one of the old mattresses we had lying around the house for mine." Kid Flash drops down onto the bed and grins widely. "This anything like sleeping in Atlantis?"

"My bed in Atlantis is not nearly as comfortable." Aqualad contemplates them all before choosing to sit on the other side of Superboy, between Superboy and the pillows gathered at the headboard.

Superboy glances between Aqualad and Robin and then over his shoulder at Kid Flash. "I'm confused. What does this have to do with masturbation?"

"It's better in a bed." Robin replies cryptically.

And then he lays his hand on Superboy's crotch.


There's something to be said for Kryptonian nerves, Robin thinks, because SB doesn't jump a mile in the air. Instead he just looks down puzzled at Robin's hand until Dick gives him a nice firm grope through his jeans. If Dick's honest (and he tries to be honest) he's wanted to do this since he saw SB turn up in those tight blue jeans. Robin might not have much of a sexuality (well, besides being amazing) but Dick had discovered hormones like two years ago and he'd enjoyed them ever since. Sure, it could get a little awkward, he was only just starting high school but he already knew a lot more about kissing and sex than most civilians. He also knew a lot about crime, but that wasn't really applicable in most social settings.

The fly on Superboy's jeans is easy enough to pull down and it's easy enough to shove his hand inside too. That's when Superboy jumps a bit (conveniently pushing right into Robin's hand) it's also when Aqualad makes a noise of protest.

"Robin, we can't just…" Robin rubs at Superboy through the jeans and he moans, leaning back like he's about to flop into the bed but he's caught by Kid Flash and held up. Kid Flash grins at Robin, the same secretive grin they've always shared before darting into a broom closet or abandoned room before jerking each other off. KF is a little older but he didn't really start masturbating until he met Robin and Robin knows this. Kid Flash also has a speedster's metabolism and his hormones are through the roof and that's in comparison to Dick's which are higher than the average youngster.

"What? It's a team building exercise." Robin says and he pushes the jeans down a bit and then fishes around in Superboy's boxers until his hand wraps around a limp penis. Superboy shudders and buries his face in Kid Flash's neck before he starts to get hard. "Like trust falls. Oh hey, you've got an erection now, SB!"

"I-I" Superboy's voice, which is really kind of cute and generally confused, is shaky now. "I noticed?"

Robin strokes Superboy's cock a few times while the boy shudders and squirms. Aqualad still looks disapproving, but he hasn't said anything more and he hasn't tried to stop Dick. Every now and then his eyes move from Dick's hand on Superboy's penis to Superboy's face as the clone groans against Kid Flash's neck.

"See, that's how you masturbate." Then Robin grabs Superboy's hand and brings it down to wrap around Superboy's hard penis. He keeps his own hand wrapped over Superboy's and starts moving the other boy's hand. Superboy eventually gets a good rhythm going and Robin releases his hand and moves out of the way. With excellent timing too, because shortly after that Superboy orgasms. Robin watches as he shoots, most of it dribbles on the duvet but some manages to make it onto the carpet of Kaldur's floor.

"See! I think you've got it down." Robin grins at Superboy who nods shakily and doesn't try to lift himself up. "Want to practice on someone else?" Robin's grin gets even wider as Superboy, who is now blushing instead of pale, nods again. Then Robin turns and starts undoing Kaldur's pants.


Kaldur isn't sure if he should allow his teammates to sleep in his room. The next morning there are sure to be questions, but with Superboy asleep half covering him and with Robin and Kid Flash curled up together to his left, he finds that he really can't bring himself to care. It was an… unorthodox method of team building, not something Kaldur would have expected from humans of all.

Perhaps Robin had a dolphin somewhere in his ancestry.


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June 2012

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