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Otoya/Fujimaru - "If I take the first step, will you push me away?" for [livejournal.com profile] redmoonmurder

Sometimes it seems like the rift between them grows with each passing moment. Otoya feels like it’s been years since Fujimaru could trust him totally, since when Fujimaru glanced him it was like telepathy, their minds meeting up and the same thought flying across. Now when Fujimaru glances his way his eyes are veiled, his thoughts completely his own. Otoya wonders if it’s the suit or maybe the tie, or maybe it’s the slick professional styling of Otoya’s hair and the way he smiles like a politician now.

Both of them can remember a time when they both dressed in t-shirts and jeans, Otoya bundled up under layers of expensive clothing while Fujimaru made do with what he could afford while they huddled over steaming cups of coffee. Otoya tries not to remember the times in the summer, dressed down and lying around in Fujimaru’s living room while the fan whirred, or on his porch dressed in yukata.

Otoya can remember the last time they were truly close, with sweat dripping down Fujimaru’s chin and rolling down his chest, highlighting glossy collarbones and the loose collar of the yukata. Their eyes had met, shaved ice splattered on Otoya’s lap and seeping cold and sticky through the thin cotton before the two of them had moved as one, lips mashing and fingers clutching at each other’s shoulders, tugging and imploring until Fujimaru had been on his back, legs spread, while Otoya tasted him.

Until Otoya had thrust into Fujimaru on the thin guest futon uncurled next to Otoya’s bed.

It had been the next morning when the rift began, Fujimaru glancing away and not flinching but… hesitating when Otoya had smiled at him. It had been then that Otoya had wondered if maybe it hadn’t been mutual, if he shouldn’t have trusted their usual telepathy.

If he should have asked. - "If I take the first step, will you push me away?"



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June 2012

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