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Nov. 10th, 2009 10:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kat8chaTitle: Matching Panties
Author: Me
Fandom: White Collar
Pairing: Elizabeth/Neal/Peter
Rating: ...PG-13 for implied naughtiness
Summary: The last call Peter expected to receive was Neal calling to talk about what Peter's wife looked like in black underwear.
A/N: I started writing this to respond to a porn_battle prompt, but I was like 'all this plot, what' and then 'I don't really want to write the porn'. So.
As much fun as Peter generally found Neal Caffrey's company, he was pretty sure that nowhere in his job contract did it say he was Neal's official babysitter. Neal's contract might say that, but Peter was damn sure his didn't. That was why Peter always got the call when Neal ventured a little too close (or in that one case damn far away) from the edge of his cage.
"You said he's still in range right?" Peter shuffled through the papers on his desk. Forgeries, forgeries, blackmail, insurance fraud, bank fraud, etc. He was busy, but not the type of busy that needed Neal.
"Well he just went ou- he's back again, sir."
Peter sighed. "Look, he's probably dangling his leg off the side of a building to mess with you, alright?" Not really the sort of thing Neal would do, Neal was classier than that, but he might just be walking around and taking one or two steps too far out of range. Maybe the electronic bracelet should have a built in taser. Step too far out of line and ZAP.
Peter's cell phone began to vibrate against his desk. "Hold on, I'll get back to you." Putting the other officer on hold Peter checked his cellphone before answering it. Since it was his wife's name and number and smiling picture ID that showed up Peter figured it had something to do with whether he would be home for dinner or not. Quitting time was not that far off, after all. And seeing as, besides Neal's little walk, there was nothing too big on his plate…
"Hi, honey." Peter leaned back in his chair and straightened his tie.
"Well, it's a little early for pet names, don't you think?" Neal responded cheerfully. Peter quickly sat straight up. "But since you started it, how was your day, sugar?"
Peter flattened his mouth and pursed his lips. Neal wasn't about to steal his wife's cellphone. Oh, he wasn't above it, but Neal wanted Peter and Elizabeth to like him, so he wasn't about to do it. Which meant Elizabeth had given Neal her cellphone. Which meant Elizabeth and Neal were spending time with each other again. "I'm sending you back to prison."
"You can't keep threatening that just because I talk to your wife, Peter." Neal laughed slightly, and Peter could hear the infectious smile in Neal's voice. "Since you haven't asked why I'm calling I'll just tell you. Beth was not sure if the lingerie store we are at was within my two mile leash, so she thought we should give you a call so you don't stay late. You promised to meet her here after all."
Peter winced. A reminder about an appointment he had forgotten, and… "Wait, you're lingerie shopping with my wife?!"
"Beth says you know which store we're at! See you soon!" And then the call was disconnected. Peter debated briefly between calling back and demanding an explanation or bolting out of the FBI offices and getting one face to face. Since Neal was likely not to pick up anyway, Peter decided to make a run for it. He shut down his computer and quickly straightened up his desk before clocking out.
On time, for once.
Catching a cab was hell, but Peter managed, and the driver didn't even smirk when Peter rattled off the address of that little underwear boutique that Elizabeth liked to buy all of her risqué 'romantic night in' outfits. On the drive there Peter ran through any and all events that would require a sexy little outfit, and crossed them all off. Birthday was done with, his wasn't for a while, the holidays weren't for another month, Halloween was over with, and their anniversary was half a year away…
Maybe it was one of those 'surprise' things? But then, why was Neal there? Granted, Neal had great taste, but so did Elizabeth.
Peter tumbled out of the cab and paid the driver, accidentally tipping too much for once, and then straightened his suit before walking through the glass doors of the little lingerie boutique. It had tasteful mannequins in front, but that was the only sign that it sold underwear until you stepped inside, then it was rows and rows of colors and fabrics, all ridiculously expensive but also long lasting. If you didn't rip them off in the heat of the moment, of course.
"Peter!" The cheerful, round faced woman who ran the store waved at Peter from the counter. Peter winced and glanced at the back of the store where the dressing rooms were located. So much for the element of surprise… The middle aged woman, a little younger than Peter himself, was waving him closer. She dropped her voice to a low volume as soon as Peter neared the cash register. "Are you and Elizabeth keeping a pool boy now?"
"You think Neal looks like a pool boy?" Peter asked, then winced. "He's not a pool boy. And we're not keeping him either. Are they in back?"
"If you're not keeping him, can I have him?" The woman asked, and Peter had to slant her an unimpressed look before he proceeded back into the dressing rooms. Was everyone after Neal? Wait, that was a stupid question, of course they were. Only lesbians didn't want Neal, and that was debatable on some counts.
The changing rooms were done in a faded warm brown, and had a heavy wooden chair covered in red padding on one end and a couch on the other. Neal was of course sitting in the wooden chair, which was conveniently right next to the three-panel mirror. "Peter!" Neal waved at him cheerfully. "Your wife is behind door number two."
"Thank you, Neal." Peter ignored the cheerful twinkle in Neal's eyes to knock on the second door, and waited for Elizabeth to admit him. She did, of course, and had a twinkle in her eyes too. Peter mentally girded his loins, he had a feeling he knew where this was going. "Elizabeth…"
"You promised me a threesome, Peter." Elizabeth closed the dressing room door and spoke softly. She also pressed a quick kiss to his mouth. "Remember? You said you'd try it."
Peter regretted that night where they'd both gotten comfortably tipsy and talked about ways they would be willing to liven up their sex life. He had always known it would come back to bite him in the ass. "Not with a convicted criminal, Elizabeth!"
"Oh c'mon." Elizabeth smiled at him and Peter knew that they both knew he had lost. "It's Neal. Even you admit he's not that dangerous."
"I'm pretty sure he's dangerous in the bedroom." Peter said, then he glanced down at the tasteful little number Elizabeth was wearing, a black lace bra and panty set with a matching garter belt. The straps for the garter belt dangled along her thighs. Peter swallowed.
"Eyes up, cowboy." Elizabeth stroked hands over Peter's chin and then held it firmly while she kissed him. Peter placed his hands on his wife's hips and held her close, kissing back.
There was a knock on the dressing room door. "So, can I come in now?"
Peter rolled his eyes. Neal had probably been listening in the whole time. "No, we're going home. I'd like my first threesome to be in a bed, please."
Author: Me
Fandom: White Collar
Pairing: Elizabeth/Neal/Peter
Rating: ...PG-13 for implied naughtiness
Summary: The last call Peter expected to receive was Neal calling to talk about what Peter's wife looked like in black underwear.
A/N: I started writing this to respond to a porn_battle prompt, but I was like 'all this plot, what' and then 'I don't really want to write the porn'. So.
As much fun as Peter generally found Neal Caffrey's company, he was pretty sure that nowhere in his job contract did it say he was Neal's official babysitter. Neal's contract might say that, but Peter was damn sure his didn't. That was why Peter always got the call when Neal ventured a little too close (or in that one case damn far away) from the edge of his cage.
"You said he's still in range right?" Peter shuffled through the papers on his desk. Forgeries, forgeries, blackmail, insurance fraud, bank fraud, etc. He was busy, but not the type of busy that needed Neal.
"Well he just went ou- he's back again, sir."
Peter sighed. "Look, he's probably dangling his leg off the side of a building to mess with you, alright?" Not really the sort of thing Neal would do, Neal was classier than that, but he might just be walking around and taking one or two steps too far out of range. Maybe the electronic bracelet should have a built in taser. Step too far out of line and ZAP.
Peter's cell phone began to vibrate against his desk. "Hold on, I'll get back to you." Putting the other officer on hold Peter checked his cellphone before answering it. Since it was his wife's name and number and smiling picture ID that showed up Peter figured it had something to do with whether he would be home for dinner or not. Quitting time was not that far off, after all. And seeing as, besides Neal's little walk, there was nothing too big on his plate…
"Hi, honey." Peter leaned back in his chair and straightened his tie.
"Well, it's a little early for pet names, don't you think?" Neal responded cheerfully. Peter quickly sat straight up. "But since you started it, how was your day, sugar?"
Peter flattened his mouth and pursed his lips. Neal wasn't about to steal his wife's cellphone. Oh, he wasn't above it, but Neal wanted Peter and Elizabeth to like him, so he wasn't about to do it. Which meant Elizabeth had given Neal her cellphone. Which meant Elizabeth and Neal were spending time with each other again. "I'm sending you back to prison."
"You can't keep threatening that just because I talk to your wife, Peter." Neal laughed slightly, and Peter could hear the infectious smile in Neal's voice. "Since you haven't asked why I'm calling I'll just tell you. Beth was not sure if the lingerie store we are at was within my two mile leash, so she thought we should give you a call so you don't stay late. You promised to meet her here after all."
Peter winced. A reminder about an appointment he had forgotten, and… "Wait, you're lingerie shopping with my wife?!"
"Beth says you know which store we're at! See you soon!" And then the call was disconnected. Peter debated briefly between calling back and demanding an explanation or bolting out of the FBI offices and getting one face to face. Since Neal was likely not to pick up anyway, Peter decided to make a run for it. He shut down his computer and quickly straightened up his desk before clocking out.
On time, for once.
Catching a cab was hell, but Peter managed, and the driver didn't even smirk when Peter rattled off the address of that little underwear boutique that Elizabeth liked to buy all of her risqué 'romantic night in' outfits. On the drive there Peter ran through any and all events that would require a sexy little outfit, and crossed them all off. Birthday was done with, his wasn't for a while, the holidays weren't for another month, Halloween was over with, and their anniversary was half a year away…
Maybe it was one of those 'surprise' things? But then, why was Neal there? Granted, Neal had great taste, but so did Elizabeth.
Peter tumbled out of the cab and paid the driver, accidentally tipping too much for once, and then straightened his suit before walking through the glass doors of the little lingerie boutique. It had tasteful mannequins in front, but that was the only sign that it sold underwear until you stepped inside, then it was rows and rows of colors and fabrics, all ridiculously expensive but also long lasting. If you didn't rip them off in the heat of the moment, of course.
"Peter!" The cheerful, round faced woman who ran the store waved at Peter from the counter. Peter winced and glanced at the back of the store where the dressing rooms were located. So much for the element of surprise… The middle aged woman, a little younger than Peter himself, was waving him closer. She dropped her voice to a low volume as soon as Peter neared the cash register. "Are you and Elizabeth keeping a pool boy now?"
"You think Neal looks like a pool boy?" Peter asked, then winced. "He's not a pool boy. And we're not keeping him either. Are they in back?"
"If you're not keeping him, can I have him?" The woman asked, and Peter had to slant her an unimpressed look before he proceeded back into the dressing rooms. Was everyone after Neal? Wait, that was a stupid question, of course they were. Only lesbians didn't want Neal, and that was debatable on some counts.
The changing rooms were done in a faded warm brown, and had a heavy wooden chair covered in red padding on one end and a couch on the other. Neal was of course sitting in the wooden chair, which was conveniently right next to the three-panel mirror. "Peter!" Neal waved at him cheerfully. "Your wife is behind door number two."
"Thank you, Neal." Peter ignored the cheerful twinkle in Neal's eyes to knock on the second door, and waited for Elizabeth to admit him. She did, of course, and had a twinkle in her eyes too. Peter mentally girded his loins, he had a feeling he knew where this was going. "Elizabeth…"
"You promised me a threesome, Peter." Elizabeth closed the dressing room door and spoke softly. She also pressed a quick kiss to his mouth. "Remember? You said you'd try it."
Peter regretted that night where they'd both gotten comfortably tipsy and talked about ways they would be willing to liven up their sex life. He had always known it would come back to bite him in the ass. "Not with a convicted criminal, Elizabeth!"
"Oh c'mon." Elizabeth smiled at him and Peter knew that they both knew he had lost. "It's Neal. Even you admit he's not that dangerous."
"I'm pretty sure he's dangerous in the bedroom." Peter said, then he glanced down at the tasteful little number Elizabeth was wearing, a black lace bra and panty set with a matching garter belt. The straps for the garter belt dangled along her thighs. Peter swallowed.
"Eyes up, cowboy." Elizabeth stroked hands over Peter's chin and then held it firmly while she kissed him. Peter placed his hands on his wife's hips and held her close, kissing back.
There was a knock on the dressing room door. "So, can I come in now?"
Peter rolled his eyes. Neal had probably been listening in the whole time. "No, we're going home. I'd like my first threesome to be in a bed, please."
