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Dec. 29th, 2010 02:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kat8chaTitle: Reality is a Crutch 6/?
All Parts: Part 1, Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7
Author: kat8cha
Pairing: Roy/Wally
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Roy hates asking for help and can only do so when he is not the one in need.
Warnings: Drug use, referenced prostitution
A/N: The first part of the story behind![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
roygoesdown and quickblows's AU. Roy leaves when Ollie kicks him out and Wally never met Barry and thus never gained powers. Also for H/C bingo's sexual extortion prompt.
Roy sat with his back against the door, his knees pulled up to his chest and his forehead rested against his knees while his arms wrapped around his legs and hugged them tight to his body. He had been waiting for sound from the other room, either angry shouts or possibly the sounds of a fist fight. Ollie had not stormed over to Hal's bedroom and pounded on the door, in fact the only one to have knocked had been Wally and Roy had let Wally in of course. Still, Roy was… surprised. Surprised and possibly a little hurt. Which brought up the question, how did he want Ollie to react? Did he want anger? Regret? Did he want Ollie to ask for him to come back?
Roy squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his legs hard and… sighed before he released the tension and allowed his legs to drop flat on the floor. Wally was seated next to him with his back against the door in a position that probably had the doorjamb digging into his spine. He looked at Roy with a hopeful expression, the same kind of expression that Wally had *always* given Roy, the kind of look that could fill a guy with cocky pride if he thought he could live up to all the trust Wally put in him. Roy knew he could not, though he knew he would keep trying.
"Did I ever tell you how I ended up… where I found you, Wally?" And Roy can remember exactly how he found Wally. He'd been on his knees at the time with his mouth wrapped uncomfortably around some john's dick. He'd been hooking for bus fare at that point, anything to get him a little further away from Star City. He was pretty sure they'd met up in Kansas but Roy spent any time not on his knees either asleep on the bus or curled up pumping toxin into his veins. He could ask Wally if Wally remembered, but he didn't want to bring up how they actually met.
Wally was still innocent at that point, a complete virgin, and the guys who liked guys like that could tell. It'd been outside some club or another, some skuzzy bar only a few blocks down from the bus station. Wally'd just come in from his bus and he had not been looking to find trouble, but with the bruises from his father's last beating fresh on his face and his damaged psyche just as obvious it was no wonder he got pulled into the same back alley as Roy. The john Roy'd been sucking off came, paid, and Roy had been left with one knee in a puddle of rainwater and booze and eyes only for the poor kid being pressure into sex he did not want.
It was not the first or the last time that Roy's 'training' or 'heroic instincts' or 'stupidity' overcame Roy's tired body and common sense, but it was definitely the most fulfilling time. He had actually felt like a hero for three seconds after he'd knocked the would-be-rapist out.
Then he'd upchucked semen and bile onto the brick wall of the club, he had barely missed Wally.
"I didn't think you wanted to talk about it." Wally said diplomatically. He shifted closer to Roy so that they could sit with their backs to the door side by side. A pair of teenage shoulders, as skinny as they were, easily filled up the door from edge to edge. "Are you ready?"
Roy thought about Hal and how nonjudgmental he had been. He thought about those pamphlets that Barry left around when he visited. He thought about the warmth of Wally's body next to his, and the touch of Wally's lips, and how safe and wanted Wally could make him feel.
"I didn't start out hooking for the fun of it, just like the drugs… that's a different story, but one thing lead to another with drugs. When you're a junkie you learn sometimes you've gotta do things you don't want to for the high. I knew guys who stole from their parents for it. I was sure as hell stealing from Ollie…" Roy took a breath. "I ran with a crew, originally there was a girl with us. When she stopped showing up I looked into it, investigated like I'd been taught," Roy scoffed. He'd been taught to investigate alright, by the most clueless man on the planet. "She'd overdosed, accidentally, but there were some suspicious circumstances. She'd been sucking off our dealer for one…"
Wally bumped his shoulder against Roy's when Roy paused, and gave Roy's hand a squeeze before he rested his hand on top of Roy's.
"Thanks… Anyway, it wasn't anything *but* an accident. I didn't think anything about her sucking off the guy until our dealer asked me to do it. Not even asked, just sort of… implied. It's hard to describe." Roy could remember the jitters he'd been suffering from at the time. He'd needed that hit so badly at the time he'd do anything for it. When the guy had offered the next dose at half price if Roy did him a favor… Roy didn't like spending Ollie's money on this. It hadn't taken much to sink to his knees and give a sloppy blowjob. "It was quick, that time. I didn't know what I was doing, but he didn't expect much. He kept to his deal though, I got discounted pricing for myself and eventually for my crew. He wasn't my pimp…" Roy sucked in a breath and remembered going on his knees for the first time for someone who wasn't the dealer. "I didn't really start whoring until after I left Star City."
How he'd gotten to the BART terminal and bought the ticket the first time Roy had no idea. He had been suffering from withdrawal and shock and who knows what else. It was only after he got off somewhere in San Francisco that Roy had realized how strapped for cash he was going to be. No cash except what was left in his pockets, no shirt but the shirt on his back, and no food.
It had been far too easy to earn a change of clothes, some food, drugs, and a bus ticket. It'd been too easy to keep earning that way and to allow himself to sink deeper down into the hole he'd dug for himself. His self-pity had almost been so bad that it could be ruled clinical depression. He wasn't suicidal, but he was definitely self-destructive.
Wally knocked their shoulders together before Roy could get even more depressed and Roy smiled at Wally before he leaned over and stole a small kiss. "I'm an idiot, right?"
"Only because you don't think you deserve to be loved." Wally kissed Roy back before he pulled out of reach, although he kept ahold of Roy's hand. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"
"…well there's the first time I shot up." Roy took a deep breath. "But I think I should save that for the ugly blond in the other room. It'll probably kill him to hear it, and nearly kill me for telling it, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?" Roy's smile was wane, definitely the wrong side of sickly, but Wally's sunshine bright smile made it worth it and the sudden fierce kiss doubly so.
Plus, it wasn't like Ollie could kick him out and disinherit him twice, right?
Part 7!
All Parts: Part 1, Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7
Author: kat8cha
Pairing: Roy/Wally
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Roy hates asking for help and can only do so when he is not the one in need.
Warnings: Drug use, referenced prostitution
A/N: The first part of the story behind
roygoesdown and quickblows's AU. Roy leaves when Ollie kicks him out and Wally never met Barry and thus never gained powers. Also for H/C bingo's sexual extortion prompt.Roy sat with his back against the door, his knees pulled up to his chest and his forehead rested against his knees while his arms wrapped around his legs and hugged them tight to his body. He had been waiting for sound from the other room, either angry shouts or possibly the sounds of a fist fight. Ollie had not stormed over to Hal's bedroom and pounded on the door, in fact the only one to have knocked had been Wally and Roy had let Wally in of course. Still, Roy was… surprised. Surprised and possibly a little hurt. Which brought up the question, how did he want Ollie to react? Did he want anger? Regret? Did he want Ollie to ask for him to come back?
Roy squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his legs hard and… sighed before he released the tension and allowed his legs to drop flat on the floor. Wally was seated next to him with his back against the door in a position that probably had the doorjamb digging into his spine. He looked at Roy with a hopeful expression, the same kind of expression that Wally had *always* given Roy, the kind of look that could fill a guy with cocky pride if he thought he could live up to all the trust Wally put in him. Roy knew he could not, though he knew he would keep trying.
"Did I ever tell you how I ended up… where I found you, Wally?" And Roy can remember exactly how he found Wally. He'd been on his knees at the time with his mouth wrapped uncomfortably around some john's dick. He'd been hooking for bus fare at that point, anything to get him a little further away from Star City. He was pretty sure they'd met up in Kansas but Roy spent any time not on his knees either asleep on the bus or curled up pumping toxin into his veins. He could ask Wally if Wally remembered, but he didn't want to bring up how they actually met.
Wally was still innocent at that point, a complete virgin, and the guys who liked guys like that could tell. It'd been outside some club or another, some skuzzy bar only a few blocks down from the bus station. Wally'd just come in from his bus and he had not been looking to find trouble, but with the bruises from his father's last beating fresh on his face and his damaged psyche just as obvious it was no wonder he got pulled into the same back alley as Roy. The john Roy'd been sucking off came, paid, and Roy had been left with one knee in a puddle of rainwater and booze and eyes only for the poor kid being pressure into sex he did not want.
It was not the first or the last time that Roy's 'training' or 'heroic instincts' or 'stupidity' overcame Roy's tired body and common sense, but it was definitely the most fulfilling time. He had actually felt like a hero for three seconds after he'd knocked the would-be-rapist out.
Then he'd upchucked semen and bile onto the brick wall of the club, he had barely missed Wally.
"I didn't think you wanted to talk about it." Wally said diplomatically. He shifted closer to Roy so that they could sit with their backs to the door side by side. A pair of teenage shoulders, as skinny as they were, easily filled up the door from edge to edge. "Are you ready?"
Roy thought about Hal and how nonjudgmental he had been. He thought about those pamphlets that Barry left around when he visited. He thought about the warmth of Wally's body next to his, and the touch of Wally's lips, and how safe and wanted Wally could make him feel.
"I didn't start out hooking for the fun of it, just like the drugs… that's a different story, but one thing lead to another with drugs. When you're a junkie you learn sometimes you've gotta do things you don't want to for the high. I knew guys who stole from their parents for it. I was sure as hell stealing from Ollie…" Roy took a breath. "I ran with a crew, originally there was a girl with us. When she stopped showing up I looked into it, investigated like I'd been taught," Roy scoffed. He'd been taught to investigate alright, by the most clueless man on the planet. "She'd overdosed, accidentally, but there were some suspicious circumstances. She'd been sucking off our dealer for one…"
Wally bumped his shoulder against Roy's when Roy paused, and gave Roy's hand a squeeze before he rested his hand on top of Roy's.
"Thanks… Anyway, it wasn't anything *but* an accident. I didn't think anything about her sucking off the guy until our dealer asked me to do it. Not even asked, just sort of… implied. It's hard to describe." Roy could remember the jitters he'd been suffering from at the time. He'd needed that hit so badly at the time he'd do anything for it. When the guy had offered the next dose at half price if Roy did him a favor… Roy didn't like spending Ollie's money on this. It hadn't taken much to sink to his knees and give a sloppy blowjob. "It was quick, that time. I didn't know what I was doing, but he didn't expect much. He kept to his deal though, I got discounted pricing for myself and eventually for my crew. He wasn't my pimp…" Roy sucked in a breath and remembered going on his knees for the first time for someone who wasn't the dealer. "I didn't really start whoring until after I left Star City."
How he'd gotten to the BART terminal and bought the ticket the first time Roy had no idea. He had been suffering from withdrawal and shock and who knows what else. It was only after he got off somewhere in San Francisco that Roy had realized how strapped for cash he was going to be. No cash except what was left in his pockets, no shirt but the shirt on his back, and no food.
It had been far too easy to earn a change of clothes, some food, drugs, and a bus ticket. It'd been too easy to keep earning that way and to allow himself to sink deeper down into the hole he'd dug for himself. His self-pity had almost been so bad that it could be ruled clinical depression. He wasn't suicidal, but he was definitely self-destructive.
Wally knocked their shoulders together before Roy could get even more depressed and Roy smiled at Wally before he leaned over and stole a small kiss. "I'm an idiot, right?"
"Only because you don't think you deserve to be loved." Wally kissed Roy back before he pulled out of reach, although he kept ahold of Roy's hand. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"
"…well there's the first time I shot up." Roy took a deep breath. "But I think I should save that for the ugly blond in the other room. It'll probably kill him to hear it, and nearly kill me for telling it, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?" Roy's smile was wane, definitely the wrong side of sickly, but Wally's sunshine bright smile made it worth it and the sudden fierce kiss doubly so.
Plus, it wasn't like Ollie could kick him out and disinherit him twice, right?
Part 7!
