(no subject)
Mar. 21st, 2010 03:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kat8chaThey're not boys, not any longer. In truth they have not been boys for a long time, not since before Mikado came to Tokyo, maybe not since Kida left for Tokyo. Or maybe not even then, maybe they have been men for longer than they can remember. Maybe they were born men, and even as squalling infants they had eyes that were wise and trusted no one. Perhaps they were old souls trapped in fragile young bodies.
Their bodies are no longer quite so young.
They are now the age that Izaya was when he decided to make a mess of their lives and turn their worlds upside down. They're the age Izaya was when he turned them against each other, and away from each other. They're the age Izaya was…
"Masaomi." Mikado's fingers stroke Kida's exposed wrist, the cuff of his shirt having been pulled slightly down. "I saw Anri today. She's doing well." Mikado's hand encircles Kida's wrist and gives it a squeeze. "She says hello, she'd like to see you sometime." Mikado looks up from Kida's wrist, from the delicate veins that run up the underside of Kida's arm, to Kida's face.
Kida's eyes still hold the fire that Izaya admired, and when they look at Mikado they also hold the lack of trust. Kida sits on Mikado's bed dressed in loose pants and a button up shirt, the shirt is opened and exposes Kida's too skinny body to the room. There are hickeys covering Kida's chest. "Whatever you want, Mikado." Kida doesn't look away, he knows Mikado doesn't like it.
"Masaomi!" Mikado doesn't whine. He's too old to whine. He's too old to look innocent and excited as well, but does anyway. He ignores that Kida knows better, that Kida knows now that the part of his personality that Kida always took as Mikado's true personality is only half of a much more complex individual. "You don't sound happy about it." He sits up and wraps an arm around Kida's shoulders, the hand wrapped around Kida's wrist squeezing and relaxing in tune to Kida's heart beat. "Do you not want Anri to come over?"
"No." Kida forces a smile, just to watch Mikado's smile go from bright to megawatt. "I'd like to see her too."
Kida is so tired lately, and every time he forces himself to pretend, to smile, to respond to Mikado he feels a little less alive. One day he is going to smile at Mikado and die completely, withering completely on the inside to leave Mikado with an empty smiling shell. He knows Mikado would notice.
But Kida wonders if Mikado would care.
Their bodies are no longer quite so young.
They are now the age that Izaya was when he decided to make a mess of their lives and turn their worlds upside down. They're the age Izaya was when he turned them against each other, and away from each other. They're the age Izaya was…
"Masaomi." Mikado's fingers stroke Kida's exposed wrist, the cuff of his shirt having been pulled slightly down. "I saw Anri today. She's doing well." Mikado's hand encircles Kida's wrist and gives it a squeeze. "She says hello, she'd like to see you sometime." Mikado looks up from Kida's wrist, from the delicate veins that run up the underside of Kida's arm, to Kida's face.
Kida's eyes still hold the fire that Izaya admired, and when they look at Mikado they also hold the lack of trust. Kida sits on Mikado's bed dressed in loose pants and a button up shirt, the shirt is opened and exposes Kida's too skinny body to the room. There are hickeys covering Kida's chest. "Whatever you want, Mikado." Kida doesn't look away, he knows Mikado doesn't like it.
"Masaomi!" Mikado doesn't whine. He's too old to whine. He's too old to look innocent and excited as well, but does anyway. He ignores that Kida knows better, that Kida knows now that the part of his personality that Kida always took as Mikado's true personality is only half of a much more complex individual. "You don't sound happy about it." He sits up and wraps an arm around Kida's shoulders, the hand wrapped around Kida's wrist squeezing and relaxing in tune to Kida's heart beat. "Do you not want Anri to come over?"
"No." Kida forces a smile, just to watch Mikado's smile go from bright to megawatt. "I'd like to see her too."
Kida is so tired lately, and every time he forces himself to pretend, to smile, to respond to Mikado he feels a little less alive. One day he is going to smile at Mikado and die completely, withering completely on the inside to leave Mikado with an empty smiling shell. He knows Mikado would notice.
But Kida wonders if Mikado would care.
