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Title: Spicy Tsuna Rolls are Delicious
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kat8cha
Rating: PG (PG-13 at most)
Disclaimer: IN NO WAY IS THIS MINE dear god...
Summary: In Namimori you learn to pay up and shut up... and when that fails, you end up as an indentured servant of one Hibari Kyouya. Stripper!AU
A/N: This was originally written over at plurk, so there might be a few missing periods. I should have gotten everything but... also, Nikki's fault. '
When you lived in Namimori there was one rule you needed to remember. 'Pay Hibari Kyouya on time'. Things *happened* to people who didn't pay Hibari on time, they went missing, they showed up half dead, they showed up ALL THE WAY dead... There was a superstition that HIbari Kyouya had been around when the town was founded, and had been extorting from people ever since. Tsuna didn't really believe that, he was sure that if pressed the older people could remember a time when they didn't need to pay Hibari. But to question Hibari's existence was to question Hibari and questioning Hibari brought Hibari down on you like an omniscient vengeful god. Hibari always seemed to *know*.
And then there was Wao Cube, the 'neo synthetic culture space'. Tsuna didn't want to know what went on there, he never wanted to know what went on there, and that was okay because they didn't let people under 1 in anyway, and Tsuna had only turned 1 last month. Unfortunately, Tsuna had a bad feeling that he was going to find out what all the rythmic music and flashing lights were about... because he couldn't pay Hibari this time.
"I'm sorry Hibari-san!" Tsuna grovelled. "We had relatives who came in and-" and they had eaten them out of house and home. Tsuna wasn't even sure that Reborn, Bianchi, Lambo, and Ipin WERE relatives, except they'd brought a note from his failure of a father, which said they were. Of course his mother had welcomed them with open arms. But Tsuna and his mom were barely getting by on money sent from his dad, and the money Tsuna earned from his part time jobs (before he was inevitably fired). Feeding four more people who ate like an army had stretched the household budget till it broke. Now there wasn't any money left to pay Hibari off... and they were overdue from last month too, and the month before that they'd had some trouble.
"No excuses, Herbivore." Hibari's cold tonfa touched lightly against TSuna's cheek and Tsuna froze, his mind stuttering to a halt. He was gonna die gonna die gonna die... Except, except Hibari wasn't hitting him. Tsuna looked up at Hibari through nearly closed eyelids, and opened his eyes in shock when he realized Hibari was looking at him 'considerably'.
Hibari-san rarely looked at people like that unless they had put up a fight, and even then it wasn't until they were bloody messes on the floor that Hibari considered them anything more than herbivores.
"Come to Wao at four PM." Hibari ordered curtly. "Use the back entrance. Ask for Bucking Horse."
Tsuna didn't know if he should pack his effects, or just show up, but he did need to tell his mother where he was. Heading home Tsuna tried to think of the numerous ways Hibari could make him pay. Maybe the Wao was an illegal organ harvesting facility?
Or they ran drugs?
"Be a man," Reborn stated carelessly, digging into another bowl of Tsuna's mother's stew. "Pay your debts."
"Why you!" Tsuna was tempted to hit Reborn, but BAD things happened when he hit Reborn. Things that made Hibari seem like a benevolent kindergarten teacher.
"Be sure to tell Hibari-san we're grateful!" His mother called after him, and Tsuna couldn't help but grumble on his walk to Wao Cube.
Why him? Why why why him?
The Wao was silent, and appeared to loom against Namimori's grey dusk. Tsuna shivered and walked across the empty parking lot, heading for the back. Tsuna knocked on the back door marked 'employee entrance'. Shifting nervously back and forth Tsuna waited for someone to answer. The door opened to admit an impressive coif that Tsuna recognized. Kusakabe Tetsuya, Wao's bounced and Hibari Kyouya's enforcer.
"I." Tsuna cleared his throat. "I'm supposed to ask for a bucking horse?" Was bucking horse some sort of name for some sort of martial arts move? Maybe some strange torture device?! Kusakabe looked down at him, and Tsuna looked up at... well, his hair.
"Kyou-san said to let you in." Kusakabe stepped back to admit Tsuna. Tsuna stepped into the dark hallway, squinting and looking around. It... it just looked like a boring hallway. A normal, beige painted hall. Tsuna took a few steps inside, wincing and freezing when the door closed and the hallway's gloom darkened.
"Bucking Horse is at the end of the hall, the door with the star on it." Kusakabe's arm appeared over Tsuna's shoulder, pointing the way. Okay, so Bucking Horse was a guy. Was it a gang name? Was it a WRESTLERS name?!
Tsuna stood there nervously, and Kusakabe coughed. "I. Alright. Thank you." Tsuna said, since Kusakabe was waiting for him to get going. Tsuna's nervousness grew as he walked down the hallway, until it felt like the butterflies were beating iron wings against his stomach. asil Cum, Smoking Bomb, EXTREME, Rambo, Lancer, Jack & Jill, The Little Prince...
Tsuna rubbed at his arms. All these names were... weird. Weiiiird. Just... weird. "What is this place..." Ah, there it was. 'Bucking Horse'. Tsuna turned to his left and stood in front of the door, hesitating at knocking. The bronze nameplate mocked him. Tsuna lifted a hand to knock, and hesitated again before his knuckles touched wood. What was going on?
Just as Tsuna had gathered up the courage to... run away and start life in some other town and abandon his mother to the loan sharks when the door swung open and Tsuna found himself momentarily blinded. The man, taller than Tsuna, was backlit and the man's blond hair shone.
"Hey! Come in!" And Tsuna was ushered into the room, still blinking sunspots out of his eyes. He was pushed into a chair, and then the blond urned towards a rack of clothes, fishing through them. Tsuna, when he could finally see again, took a chance to look around the room. It looked like a dressing room, the type Tsuna had seen during his brief stint in the drama club (he'd been kicked out after he ruined the prima donna's wardrobe and literally 'brought down the house'. There was a make up counter, with a bunch of things strewn across it. Foundation, powder, eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss... At the end of the counter was a small glass terrarrium and a turtle. The turtle bumped its head against the glass, trying to move forwards.
"Here we are." Bucking Horse pulled out a pair of denim short shorts, a cowboy hat, and a blue tee-shirt. "These should fit. They were my first outfit you know." Bucking Horse tossed them at Tsuna, who tried to catch but only managed to grab hold of the short shorts which he immediately dropped.
"Your first outfit?" Tsuna asked. He had a... a bad feeling about this. The short shorts, the cowboy hat, the dressing room... The *names*…
"Yeah!" Bucking Horse grinned. "I totally fell on my face when I took off the shorts, be careful about that. And I nearly killed myself doing the pole dance."
"Th-this is a strip club?" Tsuna asked timidly, then his brain finally let itself work out all the clues. "Hibari-san wants me to POLE DANCE. Tsuna was incredulous. Pole dance? Him? How could. Why would. Wha. "I can't even dance!"
Bucking Horse smiled and perched on his make up counter. "You're in debt, right?" Tsuna nodded, and the blond man continued. "Hibari picks and chooses. Some times a guy gets sent to Wao Cube, sometimes Hibari beats him up and tells him never to do it again, and sometimes Hibari gets the guy a job. It depends." Shrugging, the blond reached into the turtle's cage and stroked the turtle's shell, ignoring the way the green reptile turned it's head to bite at his fingers. "Oh, did I introduce myself?"
"You're Bucking Horse, right?" Tsuna picked up the cowboy hat, shorts, and tee-shirt. A pair of fingerless black leather gloves fell out of the short's pocket.
The blond blinked at him in confusion, then laughed. "Oh man, no. Not unless you want to call me by my stripper name." Sticking out a hand the older man leaned over Tsuna, his blond hair fell over his face and practically reflected the fluorescent light. Up close Tsuna realized that the man had really long eyelashes. "Call me Dino. Dino 'Bucking Horse' Calvallone."
Tsuna blushed, and tentatively took Dino's hand. "Dino-san." Tsuna felt relieved by the handshake, like it was such a normal thing to do, and how could things go wrong when people would still offer to shake your hand? That and Dino had an aura. A… a RELIABLE aura. "I'm Tsuna, er, Sawada Tsunayoshi."
"Sawada-san?" Dino tested Tsuna's name out. "Naw, you're using my first name too so... Tsuna. Tsuna-kun."
Tsuna was about to apologize for using Dino's first name, but it was how Dino had introduced himself! Given name first not family name! D-Dino could have been a family name!
But then Dino smiled. "How about li'l bro?"
"Little brother?" Tsuna squeaked, all thoughts of apology flittering out of his busily thinking brain. Would he have to call Dino-san 'aniki' like they were in a gang?! Oh god, was being in a strip club like being in the yakuza? Though that was a stupid question, weren't most strip clubs run by the yakuza?
Dino shrugged, easily, like it didn't matter to him either way, Tsuna could call him Dino or Calvallone or Bucking Horse. "Since I'm sponsoring you and everything, I'm like your big brother, but you don't have to call me that."
Tsuna stuttered, unsure whether he should defend calling Dino 'aniki' or whether he should be grateful that he didn't have to. Dinno's grin stretched wide across his face as he watched, and then even wider as an idea hit him. "Though, if Kyouya puts us up for an act together, things might get a little kinky."
"K-KINKY?!" Tsuna squeaked, or tried to, it all got caught in his throat and ended up as 'Hi-hi-eaiojwjaworj'
Wearing his encouraging smile, which made Tsuna feel like Dino could be trusted but at the same time made something curl up in the pit of his stomach, Dino hopped off of the counter and headed for the table covered in props."Well, I generally do my act with a whip anyway, so it's not like it ould be a huge change for me." Dino motioned at an outfit consisting of a fuzzy furry boa, a tight white t-shirt, a pair of leather pants with snaps up the side, and a dark blue button up shirt. Then Dino picked up a bull whip from the props table, and slipped an Indiana Jones fedora onto his head. "See? It's not the best outfit, but it gets the job done." Dino dropped his clothes onto the props table and then mimed snapping the whip which made Tsuna wince backwards into the chair.
"Hieeeeeeee." Tsuna couldn't control the fear filled squeak from squeezing out from between his clenched teeth. Oh god. Was this some kind of dark, BDSM club?
Dino shook his head. "Man, Kyouya really knows how to pick 'em. No one who looks at you would think you'd be a stripper, kid."
"Could you talk to Hibari-san then?" Tsuna asked hopefully. Oh god please, he didn't want to strip! "Tell him I'd make a terrible stripper!" Maybe Dino could get him off! Dino was experienced, he was a stripper! He'd know what to do!
"When I said Kyouya picks and chooses..." Dino shrugged, dropped the bullwhip onto the prop table and wandered back over to Tsuna. "I meant it. Plus, when Reborn picked me up the streets (he's the club's original manager you know) I wasn't much different." Dino ruffled Tsuna's hair affectionately.
Tsuna blushed and ducked his head. Dino had been just like him? Did that mean one day Tsuna was going to be a whip weilding sex god?! WHAT WOULD HIS MOTHER SA- sex god?! WHAT WOULD HIS MOTHER SAY?! Not that his mother really cared right now, with the worry that all her current house guests put them through. Tsuna couldn't believe he'd just called anyone a sex god, it wasn't a phrase that should be in his vocabulary. Tsuna stared at Dino. Dino had been like him? Unbelievable. Dino-san was so competent!
"Kyouya likes when people start right ahead, the club opens up around eight, so we've got another..." Dino checked his watch. "Three hours and 3 minutes to figure out your routine and your stripper name."
"Stripper name?" Tsuna clutched the outfit Dino had given him. He needed a stripper name? How did you come up with a stripper name?! The name of your first pet plus the name of your street?
"How do you come up with a stripper name?" Tsuna asked, mortified and... okay, he was curious. He did want to know. Dino was hanging his clothes back up on the rack.
"Ever had a pet?" Dino asked, he did not look surprised when Tsuna shook his head. "Okay, well. You work with the image you want to present. Ever had a nickname of any sort? Like, the Princes are actually royalty, really, really far back or something. Basil's Italian… And you never want anything too close to your real name, though sometimes you can get away with it."
"My classmates used to call me no good Tsuna." Tsuna offered, bending forward and picking up the fingerless gloves that had fallen. They were soft to the touch and had an inscribed metallic circle on the back. They looked like they had giant X's on them. Tsuna tentatively slipped one onto his hand. It was a perfect fit. But Dino's hands looked so much bigger than his.
"Well that's 'no good'." Dino mocked Tsuna's classmates with a laugh, and Tsuna smiled slightly. "Oh, hey, those fit?"
"Like a," Tsuna laughed, "like a glove, Dino-san."
"Mmm." Dino tilted his head to the side as he thought, looking at Tsuna seriously. Tsuna squirmed more the longer Dino stared.
"Here, give those back." Uncertain, Tsuna handed the outfit Dino had given him back, and started to strip off the glove. Dino waved his hand in the air to stop Tsuna."No, keep that, put the other one on too."
Dino hung up the mock cowboy outfit and fiddled around with the costumes, sorting through the options while Tsuna slipped the other glove onto his hand. Dino tossed a white tank top Tsuna's way, which hit Tsuna in the face, and then what looked like the top part of a green jump suit, a few belts, and a baggy pair of green pants.
"Some bandages, a few bandaids..." Tsuna picked up the various clothes he hadn't caught, listening to Dino's muttering. "Hmm."
"Dino-san?" Tsuna was worried. This outfit didn't look very... stripperish? Tsuna'd always thought that stripper outfits were sparkly of covered in sparkles or made of leather.
"Spicy Tuna." Dino grinned at him. "You'll be Spicy Tuna. Now try that on while I find the bandages."
"Sp-spicy tuna?" Tsuna stuttered, clutching the clothes and not making an attempt to stri-change into the outfit. It wasn't the first time someone had commented on how close 'Tsuna' sounded to 'Tuna'. But still... At least it wasn't Basil Cum? B-but still.
Dino grinned. "We'll try for a wild-type image. Spicy Tuna, it's edible, and trust me the marks are going to Eat You Up."
Tsuna was still unsure. Edible? Eat him? He... he wasn't the type of person people wanted to 'eat'. Unless of course those people were cannibals… or Hibari-san, who was always threatening to bite people to death. Plus, Tsuna was hardly wild…
Dino snapped his fingers in front of Tsuna's face, catching Tsuna's wandering attention. "Why aren't you stripping? Look, if it makes you feel better I'll wait outside, but you'll need to get used to other people watching..."
Tsuna blushed. Oh god. People watching... People couldn't possibly want to watch him strip. People couldn't want to PAY for that. Tsuna'd have to pay them and then he'd be even more in debt and… Dino snapped his fingers again. "Hold on, I'll.." Tsuna stood up and set the clothes Dino had tossed at him on the chair. Hpulled on the other glove, then stripped out of his regular clothes, well aware Dino was 'not looking'. When he got down to his underwear and socks Tsuna reached for the pants Dino stopped him.
"Oh! Wait."
Feeling horribly exposed Tsuna turned to look at Dino. Dino looked sorry, at least, which didn't exactly make TSuna feel better. "The boxers have GOT to go. Um, hold on let me see if Gokudera's got some new thongs."
Dino motioned that Tsuna step out of sight from the door, and slipped out. Tsuna stood there in his boxers, his socks, and some gloves. "Thongs?" Tsuna questioned under his breath. He wasn't even sure how you put a thong on. They always seemed so tiny in the advertisements, would they fit? Would Tsuna even be comfortable? Probably not, but comfort wasn't really the point of a thong was it… Crossing his arms over his chest Tsuna shivered, his nipples tightening. He was nervous, though the rooms were a little chilly. Would the club proper be warmer?
Tsuna attempted to distract himself by looking around, and he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Standing there in a pair of monkey patterned boxers, with wild hair and a pair of leather gloves. He looked ridiculous. How could Hibari expect him to pay back the money he owed? Hibari-san would probably expect Tsuna to pay back any money that was wasted on Tsuna's training and dancing. Maybe Tsuna could convince Hibari-san that he could pay the money back by cleaning or something. Tsuna wasn't a bad cleaner! He wasn't a particularly good one either…
The door swung open and Tsuna jumped. "-right in here." Dino entered the dressing room, with a shorter, lithe, silver haired man behind him. It was an interesting contrast, if Tsuna was going to make a comparison he'd say they were like the sun and the moon, or something else stupidly poetic sounding. "Here we are." Dino smiled, making him seem even more like the sun to the scowling silver haired man's moon. "Hayato 'Smoking Bomb' Gokudera, meet Tsuna 'Spicy Tuna' Sawada."
Tsuna blushed, shifting back and forth on his feet nervously. Should he bow? Should he ask Gokudera to take care of him? How should he treat this? Finally Tsuna bowed at the waist, feeling ridiculous. "Please take care of me!" Tsuna stayed bent over for a minute before glancing up.
Gokudera was scowling even harder now, looking at Tsuna like he was a particularly dirty stray dog. Gokudera snorted before he looked at Dino. "Is this what Hibari's fallen to? Fucking pathetic, he can't pick a decent looking guy up and we get landed with this?"
Tsuna let his hand fall, his hope falling too. It really wasn't his fault he was pathetic looking, he'd been born that way. Gokudera looked around his age too, it would have been nice to talk to someone who hadn't been a stripper for years. Tsuna stared at the carpeted floor, noticing that Gokudera was wearing steel tipped shoes.
Tsuna looked up when he heard a snap, and a hiss, his eyes widening when noticed Gokudera lighting a cigarette. Second hand smoke was a killer! Dino had been watching Tsuna, and he turned at the same time, a small frown on his face. Dino plucked the burning cigarette from Gokudera's mouth and ground it out in an ashtray that, unless Dino smoked, was kept there for that purpose. "No smoking, Hayato, you know Kyouya doesn't approve."
Gokudera crossed his arms and snorted, he was holding a clear box with a simple black thong in his right hand, and a plastic box filled with cigarettes in his left "And don't be jealous either, Tsuna's new to this, he hasn't got the handle on 'rival strippers are pissy' yet." Dino took the thong from Gokudera, and smiled despite Gokudera's fiery glare. "Here Tsuna, put this on. It won't be comfortable... but the marks don't pay for boxers, even if they're cute."
Thank you Dino-san." Tsuna turned away and stripped off the boxers, uncomfortable with showing off his genitalia, it wasn't like his butt was anything special, but showing off anything in the front… well, he'd be stripping down to- would he have to get NAKED? Tsuna hoped not. He really wasn't- Tsuna's train of thought cut off when Gokudera whistled.
"Wh-what?" Tsuna asked, glancing over his shoulder and pulling the thong up. Gokudera glanced guiltily from Tsuna's rear to Tsuna's eyes, and then away, his cheeks turning red. Why was Gokudera blushing?
Dino patted Gokudera's shoulder, and then motioned to Tsuna's butt. "With a bottom like that you'll make your way to the top pretty quick." Dino smiled then, apparently pleased with his pun.
"Dino-san! I don't. It's not." Tsuna couldn't exactly see his own ass, so he couldn't defend the fact that it was flat and unappealing. Instead Tsuna turned around to hide himself, but realized he was showing off the bulge in the front of his thong, and had to cover that up with his hands. So embarrassing.
Gokudera made another frustrated sound, his fingers twitching, and his eyes jumping from Tsuna's face to some mark on the wall behind him. "Just put on the damn clothes he gave you. I'll go talk to Irie about some music." Gokudera turned and stormed out, the door to the dressing room slamming loudly behind him.
Tsuna's fingers felt awkward buttoning up the pants, and his thick white socks looked out of place at the end of the shiny material. He would probably have to get rid of the socks. "Does he hate me?" Tsuna asked, feeling like a five year old kicked out of the sandbox. It was just, well, he didn't want anyone to dislike him. Sure, people didn't *like* him, but they didn't generally hate him for anything but his uselessness. Gokudera hadn't even seen him be useless yet.
"Naw." Dino pushed the ashtray to the back of the make up counter. A curl of smoke still hung in the air. "Smoking Bomb's like that to most of the new talent; mean and grumpy, he's nice underneath all the PMS though." Dino shrugged before helping Tsuna put the entire outfit together.
The pants had to hang just so on his hips, his belt had to be just right, his white shirt got tucked into his pants, and the crinkly green shirt hung over this all, wrinkled and bunched around his elbows. Dino reached for the bandages, and ripped off a few short strips, pasting them on Tsuna's cheeks, at the corner of his mouth, and one on his chin. Tsuna winced and wiggled his jaw to make sure he'd still be able to move it. "For a tough guy image, bandages are good, a little but not a lot."
Dino talked while he arranged, and next he ran his fingers through Tsuna's hair, ruffling it. Tsuna blushed some more and ducked out from beneath Dino's hand. "Gokudera generally goes for bandages wrapped round his chest, while EXTREME, Ryohei Sasagawa, wraps them around his hands. Though Ryohei's a boxer too so..."
"Ryohei Sasagawa?" Tsuna gasped. That was Kyoko-chan's older brother! Were they in trouble too? Kyoko had been his crush for most of his life, all through elementary, middle, and high school. Ryohei had been the upperclassmen Tsuna had admired, and for a while Tsuna had wanted to be like Ryohei. (This was before Tsuna realized how much a failure he was at breathing, much less at boxing.) Maybe Tsuna should stop by there and ... and what, admit to being a stripper alongside her brother? Knowing Ryohei he'd told Kyoko it was a sumo wrestling match, just like he used to lie after he'd gotten into a fight with some rival schoo. Maybe Tsuna should start saying that too. 'Oh, my job? I'm a sumo wrestler mom!'
"There." Dino stepped back and nodded. "We'll take care of make-up later, and you'll need to buy your own costumes and make up eventually, but you look fine for now." Tsuna looked in the mirror, his eyes widening comically in surprise, and the only proof that the person in the mirror was him. He looked...
He looked so *cool*.
"Keep the socks for now, we'll deal with footwear later." Dino opened the door and motioned that Tsuna should leave first. "It'll be better to learn the steps without new shoes messing you up."
"Couldn't I do it barefoot?" Tsuna asked, stepping out into the hallway. Dino closed the dressing room door with a short chuckle.
"Naw, though some of the customers would like that. We get some weird fetishes…"
The rest hallway was just as gloomy and ill lit as Tsuna had first thought, but it didn't last long after Dino's dressing room. A few turns and they were backstage, an area just as dark, but far more open. Then Dino pushed up out of the curtain and onto the stage for the club.
"Shishishishi." Another blond snickered at him, and now that Tsuna thought about it, it was WEIRD to have so many blonds around wasn't it? They couldn't possibly be Japanese could they? Half Japanese? Was Hibari-san running some sort of illegal European sex sl-stripper smuggling operation? No, Hibari-san wasn't into that type of thing. Was he? He might be. Did Hibari-san deal in drugs?!?! What was Tsuna getting himself into?!
"Looks like fresh meat." The blond said, interrupting Tsuna's train of thought. The blond turned to a man sitting next to him, and the man had to be his identical twin. Except for a small difference in hair styles, they were exactly the same. "What do you think, loser brother?"
The second blond brushed shoulder length hair over his shoulder, but Tsuna couldn't make out his eyes. "I don't think he'll stay cherry long, my favorite failure of a brother."
"Don't mind them." Dino spoke over his shoulder, warm breath against Tsuna's ear. Tsuna jumped to the side, and smacked right into the pole. Well, one of the poles anyway, there were three on the stage. One center front, one stage left, and one stage right. Tsuna had learned something in the theater club. Tsuna grabbed the pole for support, and rubbed at his forehead. "Ow."
The twins snickered in tandem.
"You guys weren't much better when Hibari brought you in." Dino stated, steering Tsuna gentl ytowards the center pole. "No coordination and you were always fighting."
"Jill was always losing." The short haired twin said, reaching over and yanking at 'Jill's' hair.
Jill sneered, and smacked the back of the short haired twin's head. "And Bel, I mean 'Jack' was always crying." Bel, or Jack, scowled, his scary sized smile turning into a dangerously stormy frown.
"I don't cry!" The two started bickering, poking, prodding, and pinching each other. Tsuna watched with morbid curiosity. So that was Jack and Jill? They certainly looked like siblings, but not the type who would go fetch water together. Fall down the hill and break their crowns, yeah, but only because they had pushed each other.
Dino laughed slightly, and grabbed Tsuna's hands, wrapping them around the pole. "Don't move, I'll go found Shouichi-kun and ask him to turn on some music."
"Er." Tsuna let go of the pole, but Dino mock-glared at him, so Tsuna grabbed the pole again with a small smile. "Okay. I won't move."
Dino wandered off, and Tsuna was left to run his hands up and down the pole, getting used to the feel. The pole was cold, and faintly slick under Tsuna's hands, but that was probably because Tsuna was sweating.
"Do you think he's a man or a dog?" Bel asked, hopping off the barstool he had been sitting on. "Don't move, the horse says, and the dog stays still?"
Jill mirrored his twin's actions, both of them sauntering over to the stage. They stood at the edge, the stage coming up to mid thigh.
"He's pathetic like a dog, think he'll wag his tail?"
Both of them were standing close enough to touch, Tsuna realized, closer than the customers would be standing though, there was a row of seats set up for customers. The chairs were black, and comfortable looking, though there were cheaper looking seats at the tables. Did dancers dance at the tables? Did they wander through the club? Tsuna had no idea...
"Are you ignoring us?" Bel snapped his fingers, and Tsuna's attention snapped back to the twins. Both looked unhappy. "You're new here and you think you can ignore us?" Jill hopped up onto the stage and smiled in a way that made Tsuna shiver.
"Let's teach him some manners, brother mine."
"How about you learn to shut your mouth." Someone snarled, and Jill was pushed off the stage onto Bel, who fell back onto the floor. Gokudera stepped up to Tsuna's side and glared down at the tangled twins. "Since Hibari's not here I'll kick your asses instead."
"Hey! Gokudera!" Someone grabbed Gokudera's shoulder and was angrily shrugged off. Tsuna, feeling ridiculous, let go of the pole.
"I said not to let go of that." Dino scolded, coming up behind Gokudera and the new guy, a redhead with thick plastic glasses. "Tsuna, meet Irie Shouichi."
Tsuna looked at Shouichi, who looked less like a stripper than Tsuna did. "Is he a stri-"
The twins cruel laughter cut Tsuna off. They had picked themselves up and dusted themselves off by now. "A stripper? That dork? He's only good for the technical stuff." Jill sniffed derisively. Gokudera made a move to go after them, and Bel and Jill backed away.
"Later, cherry." Bel waved, and he and Jill moved through the club to the back.
"Don't mind them." Dino said, patting Tsuna on the shoulder. "They're like Go-"
"They're nothing like me." Gokudera snarled, shoving Irie away and stalking backstage.
"What set him off?" Shouichi asked, and Tsuna felt like his face was about to catch fire when Dino motioned at him. "Oh. New guy."
"We go through this with every new employee. Poor Lancer, first name Lancia, last name who the hell knows, had a fistfight with Gokudera and then Hibari put them both in the hospital. We try to stop it from happening now." Dino clapped his hands and looked expectantly at Shouichi. "We need a routine."
Oh, so Shouichi was a- "A routine? I give you lights and music Calvallone, you come up with the routine." Shouichi pushed his glasses up. Okay. So he wasn't a dance instructor. Tsuna shifted nervously again.
"Then, can you suggest something for me to..." Tsuna swallowed.
"Dance to?" Split second sympathetic look, and then Shouichi was turning away. "I'll start up something simple; Calvallone can help teach you some moves."
Dino leaned close to Tsuna. "He's kind of prickly. He left his long-term boyfriend because of this." Tsuna stared, open mouthed, and Dino's eyes laughed at him. "Don't let him know I told you. He'd spit in my next drink."
"Spit?" Tsuna questioned, and he let Dino put his hands back on the pole, Dino's warm, responsible hands on top of his. Dino squeezed his hands gently.
"He doubles as our bartender." Dino murmured. "Sometimes."
Dino stepped back then, and cleared his throat. "Okay, now, think you can grab the pole and swing yourself around?" It took the better part of two and a half hours, Dino's coaching, a few non-helpful diagrams and mathematical explanations from Gokudera, heckling from Jill and Bell, and Tsuna meeting 'The Little Prince' who was actually the most helpful of anyone in the strip club.
"You'll become number one in no time." Fuuta said, and though he looked 14, Dino said he was 20, and Tsuna was betting his ACTUAL age was 16. He was, apparently, the best at predicting dancer's popularity, and ran some sort of gambling pool on it. "I can see that the customer's will rate your butt the top draw!"
"F-FUUTA!" Tsuna blushed and turned away. Oh god, even someone YOUNGER than him was talking about his butt! It was just a butt! Tsuna didn't understand why everyone felt the need to compliment it.
"You're all too loud." Hibari's voice cut across the camaraderie, and made something inside of Tsuna go cold. The music Shouichi had on loop cut off, and the spot lights switched off too. Hibari glanced around at them all, and then at the clock. "Get ready, we open soon."
Everyone scurried, like ants, and Tsuna was going to follow Dino when a black clothed arm blocked his path. "Come with me." Hibari ordered, then Hibari turned on his heel and strode backstage. Tsuna followed, wondering what HIbari could want to talk about. Tsuna found himself following Hibari down a hallway he hadn't seen before, and then into a luxuriously appointed office. Hibari pointed at the couch, and then took a seat behind a heavy wooden desk. Then Hibari stared at him, until Tsuna squirmed again.
Hibari pulled out a sheet of paper, wrote some things on it, and tossed it at Tsuna. "Sign that. You're here every day at four, provide receipts for the clothes and props you buy, any money you make from customers is yours to keep, half your paycheck goes to your debt Hibari tossed at pen at Tsuna, which Tsuna unskillfully dodged, then picked up off of his lap. "Sign."
Tsuna signed the contract, barely looking it over, and handed it back to Hibari. Hibari then handed him several sheets, music choices, employee conduct, rules, and a dress code. "Now get out. Your dressing room is next to Bucking Horse's. Your outfit is fine, but a standard rack has been prepared. You'll start buying your own tomorrow." Hibari glared when Tsuna didn't immediately leave. Tsuna clutched the papers to his chest as he walked down the hallway, trying to find his way to the dressing rooms. Was it a right turn? Or... Was it a left turn? Tsuna leafed through the papers Hibari had given him, looking for a map. Rules, rules, more rules, no map.
"Lost?" Someone asked, and Tsuna didn't recognize the voice.
"Y-yeah." Tsuna turned with a smile, then dropped the smile and took a step back. A pair of mismatched eyes glowed at him from the dark.
"Kufufu." A soft chuckle, and the man with the mismatched eyes stepped closer. It didn't make him any less formidable, but Tsuna could see that it wasn't some sort of demon. "A little lost lamb... Skylark really has been letting all of you run free." The man smirked. "Where were you headed, lamb-kun?"
"The dressing rooms. I have to..." Tsuna felt the pounding bass notes through the floor, and he winced, his eyes widening. "I have to get ready!!!" He pushed past the tall man and ran in the direction he thought the dressing rooms were, tripping over cords and air. Suddenly, Tsuna found himself faced with stairs. Th-there had been no stairs heading to Hibari's office! Where was he?! Tsuna looked around, he could go back the way he'd come, or he could go forward. Maybe he'd find help. Carefully Tsuna began creeping up the stairs. He was sure his white socks had to be black with dust by now, but the lights were all so dim. The bass throb got louder and louder, so Tsuna knew he had to be close to the front. Reaching the top of the stairs Tsuna found himself facing a closed door. Reaching out, nervously, he knocked.
The door opened, and Irie Shouichi's face appeared. "..." Both Tsuna and Shouichi stared at each other for a minute. Then Shouichi broke the silence. "I have a map." Shouichi offered, stepping back and opening up the door further. Tsuna entered the room, and looked around while Shouichi leafed through a bunch of papers piled on a table. There were CDs on the table too, most of them burned CD's with various things written on them. 'Bucking Horse' or 'wild night' or 'seducing them slowly'. There was a bunch of technical equipment, and a computer, Tsuna didn't know what the dials and switches were all for.
"Everyone gets lost at first." Shouichi handed Tsuna a map which was color coded and had the emergency exits marked. "Hibari-kun doesn't care." Shouichi shrugged, then pushed past Tsuna so he could adjust a dial. "Dino'll cover for you, but you should head back and get your makeup done."
Tsuna nodded, and turned, but his feet wouldn't move past the door frame. "I. I don't think I can do it." Tsuna admitted. "I..."
Shouichi's voice was flat. "Hibari owns you, if you're still here you signed the contract. The time to say no is past." Tsuna still couldn't make himself leave. Leaving the room would be leaving safety. Shouichi sighed, and suddenly Tsuna found himself with a cold, orange filled bottle in his hands. "That's a virgin screwdriver. If you can't go onstage like you are, go onstage after drinking some of that."
Then Shouichi pushed him out of the room, and closed the door behind him.
Tsuna sighed, and checked the map before heading for his dressing room, the screwdriver clutched tight to his chest. Tsuna got back to the dressing rooms, and noticed that the door with the paper sign 'Spicy Tuna' was open. Tsuna glanced inside, and was pulled right in. "Sit DOWN. Dino shuffled the order around so you aren't late, but don't let Hibari find out." Gokudera scolded,
Tsuna found himself shoved into the chair in front of the make up counter, and the cold bottle taken from him and set aside. "I'll help get your make up on." Gokudera stated, unscrewing a fresh pack of powder. "Close your eyes." Gokudera patted powder all over his face and on his exposed chest, explaining that it cut down on the glare form the lights. Then Gokudera carefully lined Tsuna's eyes with black eyeliner, and then gold eyeshadow. "It'll bring out your eyes." Gokudera said.
"Aaah, Gokudera your presence is requested on the stage!" Another new voice, and using overly formal speech patterns too. Tsuna blinked
"Hold on Basil, I'm just helping out Te- Tsuna-san." Gokudera finished applying the gloss and stepped back. "Okay, you've got 3 minutes and you're on. Be backstage at the door in 20!" Then Gokudera was rushing out. Tsuna was left in the room with Basil.
"I assume you are Sawada Tsunayoshi. I am pleased to make your acquaintance." Basil bowed preemptively, and then stepped into the room. Tsuna glanced in the mirror, surprised by how different he looked. He looked... like a pro. Professional, not prostitute. "It's nice to meet you too... Basil-kun?" Standing, Tsuna reached out to shake Basil's hand.
Basil glanced at the bottle Irie had given him, then bowed deeply. "If it can be of any use to you, sir," Basil pulled out a pill bottle "These always make me feel brave before I go onstage."
"Ah, Irie-san gave me..." Tsuna reached for the bottle, but Basil reached out and stopped him.
"They won't interfere." Basil smiled at him, and Tsuna couldn't help but take the pills. Basil was only trying to be helpful. "Take them before you step onto the stage, they will fill you with dying will, sir." Then Basil bowed, and exited the dressing room. Tsuna belatedly realized that Basil had been wearing some sort of mock samurai outfit. Was all this becoming normal? Tsuna wondered, uncorking the screwdriver and sipping it. It tasted... like orange juice. Good orange juice. Feeling a little braver Tsuna screwed the cap back on and stood up, he palmed two of the pills (they looked like multi-vitamins) and headed for the stage.
Author:
kat8chaRating: PG (PG-13 at most)
Disclaimer: IN NO WAY IS THIS MINE dear god...
Summary: In Namimori you learn to pay up and shut up... and when that fails, you end up as an indentured servant of one Hibari Kyouya. Stripper!AU
A/N: This was originally written over at plurk, so there might be a few missing periods. I should have gotten everything but... also, Nikki's fault. '
When you lived in Namimori there was one rule you needed to remember. 'Pay Hibari Kyouya on time'. Things *happened* to people who didn't pay Hibari on time, they went missing, they showed up half dead, they showed up ALL THE WAY dead... There was a superstition that HIbari Kyouya had been around when the town was founded, and had been extorting from people ever since. Tsuna didn't really believe that, he was sure that if pressed the older people could remember a time when they didn't need to pay Hibari. But to question Hibari's existence was to question Hibari and questioning Hibari brought Hibari down on you like an omniscient vengeful god. Hibari always seemed to *know*.
And then there was Wao Cube, the 'neo synthetic culture space'. Tsuna didn't want to know what went on there, he never wanted to know what went on there, and that was okay because they didn't let people under 1 in anyway, and Tsuna had only turned 1 last month. Unfortunately, Tsuna had a bad feeling that he was going to find out what all the rythmic music and flashing lights were about... because he couldn't pay Hibari this time.
"I'm sorry Hibari-san!" Tsuna grovelled. "We had relatives who came in and-" and they had eaten them out of house and home. Tsuna wasn't even sure that Reborn, Bianchi, Lambo, and Ipin WERE relatives, except they'd brought a note from his failure of a father, which said they were. Of course his mother had welcomed them with open arms. But Tsuna and his mom were barely getting by on money sent from his dad, and the money Tsuna earned from his part time jobs (before he was inevitably fired). Feeding four more people who ate like an army had stretched the household budget till it broke. Now there wasn't any money left to pay Hibari off... and they were overdue from last month too, and the month before that they'd had some trouble.
"No excuses, Herbivore." Hibari's cold tonfa touched lightly against TSuna's cheek and Tsuna froze, his mind stuttering to a halt. He was gonna die gonna die gonna die... Except, except Hibari wasn't hitting him. Tsuna looked up at Hibari through nearly closed eyelids, and opened his eyes in shock when he realized Hibari was looking at him 'considerably'.
Hibari-san rarely looked at people like that unless they had put up a fight, and even then it wasn't until they were bloody messes on the floor that Hibari considered them anything more than herbivores.
"Come to Wao at four PM." Hibari ordered curtly. "Use the back entrance. Ask for Bucking Horse."
Tsuna didn't know if he should pack his effects, or just show up, but he did need to tell his mother where he was. Heading home Tsuna tried to think of the numerous ways Hibari could make him pay. Maybe the Wao was an illegal organ harvesting facility?
Or they ran drugs?
"Be a man," Reborn stated carelessly, digging into another bowl of Tsuna's mother's stew. "Pay your debts."
"Why you!" Tsuna was tempted to hit Reborn, but BAD things happened when he hit Reborn. Things that made Hibari seem like a benevolent kindergarten teacher.
"Be sure to tell Hibari-san we're grateful!" His mother called after him, and Tsuna couldn't help but grumble on his walk to Wao Cube.
Why him? Why why why him?
The Wao was silent, and appeared to loom against Namimori's grey dusk. Tsuna shivered and walked across the empty parking lot, heading for the back. Tsuna knocked on the back door marked 'employee entrance'. Shifting nervously back and forth Tsuna waited for someone to answer. The door opened to admit an impressive coif that Tsuna recognized. Kusakabe Tetsuya, Wao's bounced and Hibari Kyouya's enforcer.
"I." Tsuna cleared his throat. "I'm supposed to ask for a bucking horse?" Was bucking horse some sort of name for some sort of martial arts move? Maybe some strange torture device?! Kusakabe looked down at him, and Tsuna looked up at... well, his hair.
"Kyou-san said to let you in." Kusakabe stepped back to admit Tsuna. Tsuna stepped into the dark hallway, squinting and looking around. It... it just looked like a boring hallway. A normal, beige painted hall. Tsuna took a few steps inside, wincing and freezing when the door closed and the hallway's gloom darkened.
"Bucking Horse is at the end of the hall, the door with the star on it." Kusakabe's arm appeared over Tsuna's shoulder, pointing the way. Okay, so Bucking Horse was a guy. Was it a gang name? Was it a WRESTLERS name?!
Tsuna stood there nervously, and Kusakabe coughed. "I. Alright. Thank you." Tsuna said, since Kusakabe was waiting for him to get going. Tsuna's nervousness grew as he walked down the hallway, until it felt like the butterflies were beating iron wings against his stomach. asil Cum, Smoking Bomb, EXTREME, Rambo, Lancer, Jack & Jill, The Little Prince...
Tsuna rubbed at his arms. All these names were... weird. Weiiiird. Just... weird. "What is this place..." Ah, there it was. 'Bucking Horse'. Tsuna turned to his left and stood in front of the door, hesitating at knocking. The bronze nameplate mocked him. Tsuna lifted a hand to knock, and hesitated again before his knuckles touched wood. What was going on?
Just as Tsuna had gathered up the courage to... run away and start life in some other town and abandon his mother to the loan sharks when the door swung open and Tsuna found himself momentarily blinded. The man, taller than Tsuna, was backlit and the man's blond hair shone.
"Hey! Come in!" And Tsuna was ushered into the room, still blinking sunspots out of his eyes. He was pushed into a chair, and then the blond urned towards a rack of clothes, fishing through them. Tsuna, when he could finally see again, took a chance to look around the room. It looked like a dressing room, the type Tsuna had seen during his brief stint in the drama club (he'd been kicked out after he ruined the prima donna's wardrobe and literally 'brought down the house'. There was a make up counter, with a bunch of things strewn across it. Foundation, powder, eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss... At the end of the counter was a small glass terrarrium and a turtle. The turtle bumped its head against the glass, trying to move forwards.
"Here we are." Bucking Horse pulled out a pair of denim short shorts, a cowboy hat, and a blue tee-shirt. "These should fit. They were my first outfit you know." Bucking Horse tossed them at Tsuna, who tried to catch but only managed to grab hold of the short shorts which he immediately dropped.
"Your first outfit?" Tsuna asked. He had a... a bad feeling about this. The short shorts, the cowboy hat, the dressing room... The *names*…
"Yeah!" Bucking Horse grinned. "I totally fell on my face when I took off the shorts, be careful about that. And I nearly killed myself doing the pole dance."
"Th-this is a strip club?" Tsuna asked timidly, then his brain finally let itself work out all the clues. "Hibari-san wants me to POLE DANCE. Tsuna was incredulous. Pole dance? Him? How could. Why would. Wha. "I can't even dance!"
Bucking Horse smiled and perched on his make up counter. "You're in debt, right?" Tsuna nodded, and the blond man continued. "Hibari picks and chooses. Some times a guy gets sent to Wao Cube, sometimes Hibari beats him up and tells him never to do it again, and sometimes Hibari gets the guy a job. It depends." Shrugging, the blond reached into the turtle's cage and stroked the turtle's shell, ignoring the way the green reptile turned it's head to bite at his fingers. "Oh, did I introduce myself?"
"You're Bucking Horse, right?" Tsuna picked up the cowboy hat, shorts, and tee-shirt. A pair of fingerless black leather gloves fell out of the short's pocket.
The blond blinked at him in confusion, then laughed. "Oh man, no. Not unless you want to call me by my stripper name." Sticking out a hand the older man leaned over Tsuna, his blond hair fell over his face and practically reflected the fluorescent light. Up close Tsuna realized that the man had really long eyelashes. "Call me Dino. Dino 'Bucking Horse' Calvallone."
Tsuna blushed, and tentatively took Dino's hand. "Dino-san." Tsuna felt relieved by the handshake, like it was such a normal thing to do, and how could things go wrong when people would still offer to shake your hand? That and Dino had an aura. A… a RELIABLE aura. "I'm Tsuna, er, Sawada Tsunayoshi."
"Sawada-san?" Dino tested Tsuna's name out. "Naw, you're using my first name too so... Tsuna. Tsuna-kun."
Tsuna was about to apologize for using Dino's first name, but it was how Dino had introduced himself! Given name first not family name! D-Dino could have been a family name!
But then Dino smiled. "How about li'l bro?"
"Little brother?" Tsuna squeaked, all thoughts of apology flittering out of his busily thinking brain. Would he have to call Dino-san 'aniki' like they were in a gang?! Oh god, was being in a strip club like being in the yakuza? Though that was a stupid question, weren't most strip clubs run by the yakuza?
Dino shrugged, easily, like it didn't matter to him either way, Tsuna could call him Dino or Calvallone or Bucking Horse. "Since I'm sponsoring you and everything, I'm like your big brother, but you don't have to call me that."
Tsuna stuttered, unsure whether he should defend calling Dino 'aniki' or whether he should be grateful that he didn't have to. Dinno's grin stretched wide across his face as he watched, and then even wider as an idea hit him. "Though, if Kyouya puts us up for an act together, things might get a little kinky."
"K-KINKY?!" Tsuna squeaked, or tried to, it all got caught in his throat and ended up as 'Hi-hi-eaiojwjaworj'
Wearing his encouraging smile, which made Tsuna feel like Dino could be trusted but at the same time made something curl up in the pit of his stomach, Dino hopped off of the counter and headed for the table covered in props."Well, I generally do my act with a whip anyway, so it's not like it ould be a huge change for me." Dino motioned at an outfit consisting of a fuzzy furry boa, a tight white t-shirt, a pair of leather pants with snaps up the side, and a dark blue button up shirt. Then Dino picked up a bull whip from the props table, and slipped an Indiana Jones fedora onto his head. "See? It's not the best outfit, but it gets the job done." Dino dropped his clothes onto the props table and then mimed snapping the whip which made Tsuna wince backwards into the chair.
"Hieeeeeeee." Tsuna couldn't control the fear filled squeak from squeezing out from between his clenched teeth. Oh god. Was this some kind of dark, BDSM club?
Dino shook his head. "Man, Kyouya really knows how to pick 'em. No one who looks at you would think you'd be a stripper, kid."
"Could you talk to Hibari-san then?" Tsuna asked hopefully. Oh god please, he didn't want to strip! "Tell him I'd make a terrible stripper!" Maybe Dino could get him off! Dino was experienced, he was a stripper! He'd know what to do!
"When I said Kyouya picks and chooses..." Dino shrugged, dropped the bullwhip onto the prop table and wandered back over to Tsuna. "I meant it. Plus, when Reborn picked me up the streets (he's the club's original manager you know) I wasn't much different." Dino ruffled Tsuna's hair affectionately.
Tsuna blushed and ducked his head. Dino had been just like him? Did that mean one day Tsuna was going to be a whip weilding sex god?! WHAT WOULD HIS MOTHER SA- sex god?! WHAT WOULD HIS MOTHER SAY?! Not that his mother really cared right now, with the worry that all her current house guests put them through. Tsuna couldn't believe he'd just called anyone a sex god, it wasn't a phrase that should be in his vocabulary. Tsuna stared at Dino. Dino had been like him? Unbelievable. Dino-san was so competent!
"Kyouya likes when people start right ahead, the club opens up around eight, so we've got another..." Dino checked his watch. "Three hours and 3 minutes to figure out your routine and your stripper name."
"Stripper name?" Tsuna clutched the outfit Dino had given him. He needed a stripper name? How did you come up with a stripper name?! The name of your first pet plus the name of your street?
"How do you come up with a stripper name?" Tsuna asked, mortified and... okay, he was curious. He did want to know. Dino was hanging his clothes back up on the rack.
"Ever had a pet?" Dino asked, he did not look surprised when Tsuna shook his head. "Okay, well. You work with the image you want to present. Ever had a nickname of any sort? Like, the Princes are actually royalty, really, really far back or something. Basil's Italian… And you never want anything too close to your real name, though sometimes you can get away with it."
"My classmates used to call me no good Tsuna." Tsuna offered, bending forward and picking up the fingerless gloves that had fallen. They were soft to the touch and had an inscribed metallic circle on the back. They looked like they had giant X's on them. Tsuna tentatively slipped one onto his hand. It was a perfect fit. But Dino's hands looked so much bigger than his.
"Well that's 'no good'." Dino mocked Tsuna's classmates with a laugh, and Tsuna smiled slightly. "Oh, hey, those fit?"
"Like a," Tsuna laughed, "like a glove, Dino-san."
"Mmm." Dino tilted his head to the side as he thought, looking at Tsuna seriously. Tsuna squirmed more the longer Dino stared.
"Here, give those back." Uncertain, Tsuna handed the outfit Dino had given him back, and started to strip off the glove. Dino waved his hand in the air to stop Tsuna."No, keep that, put the other one on too."
Dino hung up the mock cowboy outfit and fiddled around with the costumes, sorting through the options while Tsuna slipped the other glove onto his hand. Dino tossed a white tank top Tsuna's way, which hit Tsuna in the face, and then what looked like the top part of a green jump suit, a few belts, and a baggy pair of green pants.
"Some bandages, a few bandaids..." Tsuna picked up the various clothes he hadn't caught, listening to Dino's muttering. "Hmm."
"Dino-san?" Tsuna was worried. This outfit didn't look very... stripperish? Tsuna'd always thought that stripper outfits were sparkly of covered in sparkles or made of leather.
"Spicy Tuna." Dino grinned at him. "You'll be Spicy Tuna. Now try that on while I find the bandages."
"Sp-spicy tuna?" Tsuna stuttered, clutching the clothes and not making an attempt to stri-change into the outfit. It wasn't the first time someone had commented on how close 'Tsuna' sounded to 'Tuna'. But still... At least it wasn't Basil Cum? B-but still.
Dino grinned. "We'll try for a wild-type image. Spicy Tuna, it's edible, and trust me the marks are going to Eat You Up."
Tsuna was still unsure. Edible? Eat him? He... he wasn't the type of person people wanted to 'eat'. Unless of course those people were cannibals… or Hibari-san, who was always threatening to bite people to death. Plus, Tsuna was hardly wild…
Dino snapped his fingers in front of Tsuna's face, catching Tsuna's wandering attention. "Why aren't you stripping? Look, if it makes you feel better I'll wait outside, but you'll need to get used to other people watching..."
Tsuna blushed. Oh god. People watching... People couldn't possibly want to watch him strip. People couldn't want to PAY for that. Tsuna'd have to pay them and then he'd be even more in debt and… Dino snapped his fingers again. "Hold on, I'll.." Tsuna stood up and set the clothes Dino had tossed at him on the chair. Hpulled on the other glove, then stripped out of his regular clothes, well aware Dino was 'not looking'. When he got down to his underwear and socks Tsuna reached for the pants Dino stopped him.
"Oh! Wait."
Feeling horribly exposed Tsuna turned to look at Dino. Dino looked sorry, at least, which didn't exactly make TSuna feel better. "The boxers have GOT to go. Um, hold on let me see if Gokudera's got some new thongs."
Dino motioned that Tsuna step out of sight from the door, and slipped out. Tsuna stood there in his boxers, his socks, and some gloves. "Thongs?" Tsuna questioned under his breath. He wasn't even sure how you put a thong on. They always seemed so tiny in the advertisements, would they fit? Would Tsuna even be comfortable? Probably not, but comfort wasn't really the point of a thong was it… Crossing his arms over his chest Tsuna shivered, his nipples tightening. He was nervous, though the rooms were a little chilly. Would the club proper be warmer?
Tsuna attempted to distract himself by looking around, and he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Standing there in a pair of monkey patterned boxers, with wild hair and a pair of leather gloves. He looked ridiculous. How could Hibari expect him to pay back the money he owed? Hibari-san would probably expect Tsuna to pay back any money that was wasted on Tsuna's training and dancing. Maybe Tsuna could convince Hibari-san that he could pay the money back by cleaning or something. Tsuna wasn't a bad cleaner! He wasn't a particularly good one either…
The door swung open and Tsuna jumped. "-right in here." Dino entered the dressing room, with a shorter, lithe, silver haired man behind him. It was an interesting contrast, if Tsuna was going to make a comparison he'd say they were like the sun and the moon, or something else stupidly poetic sounding. "Here we are." Dino smiled, making him seem even more like the sun to the scowling silver haired man's moon. "Hayato 'Smoking Bomb' Gokudera, meet Tsuna 'Spicy Tuna' Sawada."
Tsuna blushed, shifting back and forth on his feet nervously. Should he bow? Should he ask Gokudera to take care of him? How should he treat this? Finally Tsuna bowed at the waist, feeling ridiculous. "Please take care of me!" Tsuna stayed bent over for a minute before glancing up.
Gokudera was scowling even harder now, looking at Tsuna like he was a particularly dirty stray dog. Gokudera snorted before he looked at Dino. "Is this what Hibari's fallen to? Fucking pathetic, he can't pick a decent looking guy up and we get landed with this?"
Tsuna let his hand fall, his hope falling too. It really wasn't his fault he was pathetic looking, he'd been born that way. Gokudera looked around his age too, it would have been nice to talk to someone who hadn't been a stripper for years. Tsuna stared at the carpeted floor, noticing that Gokudera was wearing steel tipped shoes.
Tsuna looked up when he heard a snap, and a hiss, his eyes widening when noticed Gokudera lighting a cigarette. Second hand smoke was a killer! Dino had been watching Tsuna, and he turned at the same time, a small frown on his face. Dino plucked the burning cigarette from Gokudera's mouth and ground it out in an ashtray that, unless Dino smoked, was kept there for that purpose. "No smoking, Hayato, you know Kyouya doesn't approve."
Gokudera crossed his arms and snorted, he was holding a clear box with a simple black thong in his right hand, and a plastic box filled with cigarettes in his left "And don't be jealous either, Tsuna's new to this, he hasn't got the handle on 'rival strippers are pissy' yet." Dino took the thong from Gokudera, and smiled despite Gokudera's fiery glare. "Here Tsuna, put this on. It won't be comfortable... but the marks don't pay for boxers, even if they're cute."
Thank you Dino-san." Tsuna turned away and stripped off the boxers, uncomfortable with showing off his genitalia, it wasn't like his butt was anything special, but showing off anything in the front… well, he'd be stripping down to- would he have to get NAKED? Tsuna hoped not. He really wasn't- Tsuna's train of thought cut off when Gokudera whistled.
"Wh-what?" Tsuna asked, glancing over his shoulder and pulling the thong up. Gokudera glanced guiltily from Tsuna's rear to Tsuna's eyes, and then away, his cheeks turning red. Why was Gokudera blushing?
Dino patted Gokudera's shoulder, and then motioned to Tsuna's butt. "With a bottom like that you'll make your way to the top pretty quick." Dino smiled then, apparently pleased with his pun.
"Dino-san! I don't. It's not." Tsuna couldn't exactly see his own ass, so he couldn't defend the fact that it was flat and unappealing. Instead Tsuna turned around to hide himself, but realized he was showing off the bulge in the front of his thong, and had to cover that up with his hands. So embarrassing.
Gokudera made another frustrated sound, his fingers twitching, and his eyes jumping from Tsuna's face to some mark on the wall behind him. "Just put on the damn clothes he gave you. I'll go talk to Irie about some music." Gokudera turned and stormed out, the door to the dressing room slamming loudly behind him.
Tsuna's fingers felt awkward buttoning up the pants, and his thick white socks looked out of place at the end of the shiny material. He would probably have to get rid of the socks. "Does he hate me?" Tsuna asked, feeling like a five year old kicked out of the sandbox. It was just, well, he didn't want anyone to dislike him. Sure, people didn't *like* him, but they didn't generally hate him for anything but his uselessness. Gokudera hadn't even seen him be useless yet.
"Naw." Dino pushed the ashtray to the back of the make up counter. A curl of smoke still hung in the air. "Smoking Bomb's like that to most of the new talent; mean and grumpy, he's nice underneath all the PMS though." Dino shrugged before helping Tsuna put the entire outfit together.
The pants had to hang just so on his hips, his belt had to be just right, his white shirt got tucked into his pants, and the crinkly green shirt hung over this all, wrinkled and bunched around his elbows. Dino reached for the bandages, and ripped off a few short strips, pasting them on Tsuna's cheeks, at the corner of his mouth, and one on his chin. Tsuna winced and wiggled his jaw to make sure he'd still be able to move it. "For a tough guy image, bandages are good, a little but not a lot."
Dino talked while he arranged, and next he ran his fingers through Tsuna's hair, ruffling it. Tsuna blushed some more and ducked out from beneath Dino's hand. "Gokudera generally goes for bandages wrapped round his chest, while EXTREME, Ryohei Sasagawa, wraps them around his hands. Though Ryohei's a boxer too so..."
"Ryohei Sasagawa?" Tsuna gasped. That was Kyoko-chan's older brother! Were they in trouble too? Kyoko had been his crush for most of his life, all through elementary, middle, and high school. Ryohei had been the upperclassmen Tsuna had admired, and for a while Tsuna had wanted to be like Ryohei. (This was before Tsuna realized how much a failure he was at breathing, much less at boxing.) Maybe Tsuna should stop by there and ... and what, admit to being a stripper alongside her brother? Knowing Ryohei he'd told Kyoko it was a sumo wrestling match, just like he used to lie after he'd gotten into a fight with some rival schoo. Maybe Tsuna should start saying that too. 'Oh, my job? I'm a sumo wrestler mom!'
"There." Dino stepped back and nodded. "We'll take care of make-up later, and you'll need to buy your own costumes and make up eventually, but you look fine for now." Tsuna looked in the mirror, his eyes widening comically in surprise, and the only proof that the person in the mirror was him. He looked...
He looked so *cool*.
"Keep the socks for now, we'll deal with footwear later." Dino opened the door and motioned that Tsuna should leave first. "It'll be better to learn the steps without new shoes messing you up."
"Couldn't I do it barefoot?" Tsuna asked, stepping out into the hallway. Dino closed the dressing room door with a short chuckle.
"Naw, though some of the customers would like that. We get some weird fetishes…"
The rest hallway was just as gloomy and ill lit as Tsuna had first thought, but it didn't last long after Dino's dressing room. A few turns and they were backstage, an area just as dark, but far more open. Then Dino pushed up out of the curtain and onto the stage for the club.
"Shishishishi." Another blond snickered at him, and now that Tsuna thought about it, it was WEIRD to have so many blonds around wasn't it? They couldn't possibly be Japanese could they? Half Japanese? Was Hibari-san running some sort of illegal European sex sl-stripper smuggling operation? No, Hibari-san wasn't into that type of thing. Was he? He might be. Did Hibari-san deal in drugs?!?! What was Tsuna getting himself into?!
"Looks like fresh meat." The blond said, interrupting Tsuna's train of thought. The blond turned to a man sitting next to him, and the man had to be his identical twin. Except for a small difference in hair styles, they were exactly the same. "What do you think, loser brother?"
The second blond brushed shoulder length hair over his shoulder, but Tsuna couldn't make out his eyes. "I don't think he'll stay cherry long, my favorite failure of a brother."
"Don't mind them." Dino spoke over his shoulder, warm breath against Tsuna's ear. Tsuna jumped to the side, and smacked right into the pole. Well, one of the poles anyway, there were three on the stage. One center front, one stage left, and one stage right. Tsuna had learned something in the theater club. Tsuna grabbed the pole for support, and rubbed at his forehead. "Ow."
The twins snickered in tandem.
"You guys weren't much better when Hibari brought you in." Dino stated, steering Tsuna gentl ytowards the center pole. "No coordination and you were always fighting."
"Jill was always losing." The short haired twin said, reaching over and yanking at 'Jill's' hair.
Jill sneered, and smacked the back of the short haired twin's head. "And Bel, I mean 'Jack' was always crying." Bel, or Jack, scowled, his scary sized smile turning into a dangerously stormy frown.
"I don't cry!" The two started bickering, poking, prodding, and pinching each other. Tsuna watched with morbid curiosity. So that was Jack and Jill? They certainly looked like siblings, but not the type who would go fetch water together. Fall down the hill and break their crowns, yeah, but only because they had pushed each other.
Dino laughed slightly, and grabbed Tsuna's hands, wrapping them around the pole. "Don't move, I'll go found Shouichi-kun and ask him to turn on some music."
"Er." Tsuna let go of the pole, but Dino mock-glared at him, so Tsuna grabbed the pole again with a small smile. "Okay. I won't move."
Dino wandered off, and Tsuna was left to run his hands up and down the pole, getting used to the feel. The pole was cold, and faintly slick under Tsuna's hands, but that was probably because Tsuna was sweating.
"Do you think he's a man or a dog?" Bel asked, hopping off the barstool he had been sitting on. "Don't move, the horse says, and the dog stays still?"
Jill mirrored his twin's actions, both of them sauntering over to the stage. They stood at the edge, the stage coming up to mid thigh.
"He's pathetic like a dog, think he'll wag his tail?"
Both of them were standing close enough to touch, Tsuna realized, closer than the customers would be standing though, there was a row of seats set up for customers. The chairs were black, and comfortable looking, though there were cheaper looking seats at the tables. Did dancers dance at the tables? Did they wander through the club? Tsuna had no idea...
"Are you ignoring us?" Bel snapped his fingers, and Tsuna's attention snapped back to the twins. Both looked unhappy. "You're new here and you think you can ignore us?" Jill hopped up onto the stage and smiled in a way that made Tsuna shiver.
"Let's teach him some manners, brother mine."
"How about you learn to shut your mouth." Someone snarled, and Jill was pushed off the stage onto Bel, who fell back onto the floor. Gokudera stepped up to Tsuna's side and glared down at the tangled twins. "Since Hibari's not here I'll kick your asses instead."
"Hey! Gokudera!" Someone grabbed Gokudera's shoulder and was angrily shrugged off. Tsuna, feeling ridiculous, let go of the pole.
"I said not to let go of that." Dino scolded, coming up behind Gokudera and the new guy, a redhead with thick plastic glasses. "Tsuna, meet Irie Shouichi."
Tsuna looked at Shouichi, who looked less like a stripper than Tsuna did. "Is he a stri-"
The twins cruel laughter cut Tsuna off. They had picked themselves up and dusted themselves off by now. "A stripper? That dork? He's only good for the technical stuff." Jill sniffed derisively. Gokudera made a move to go after them, and Bel and Jill backed away.
"Later, cherry." Bel waved, and he and Jill moved through the club to the back.
"Don't mind them." Dino said, patting Tsuna on the shoulder. "They're like Go-"
"They're nothing like me." Gokudera snarled, shoving Irie away and stalking backstage.
"What set him off?" Shouichi asked, and Tsuna felt like his face was about to catch fire when Dino motioned at him. "Oh. New guy."
"We go through this with every new employee. Poor Lancer, first name Lancia, last name who the hell knows, had a fistfight with Gokudera and then Hibari put them both in the hospital. We try to stop it from happening now." Dino clapped his hands and looked expectantly at Shouichi. "We need a routine."
Oh, so Shouichi was a- "A routine? I give you lights and music Calvallone, you come up with the routine." Shouichi pushed his glasses up. Okay. So he wasn't a dance instructor. Tsuna shifted nervously again.
"Then, can you suggest something for me to..." Tsuna swallowed.
"Dance to?" Split second sympathetic look, and then Shouichi was turning away. "I'll start up something simple; Calvallone can help teach you some moves."
Dino leaned close to Tsuna. "He's kind of prickly. He left his long-term boyfriend because of this." Tsuna stared, open mouthed, and Dino's eyes laughed at him. "Don't let him know I told you. He'd spit in my next drink."
"Spit?" Tsuna questioned, and he let Dino put his hands back on the pole, Dino's warm, responsible hands on top of his. Dino squeezed his hands gently.
"He doubles as our bartender." Dino murmured. "Sometimes."
Dino stepped back then, and cleared his throat. "Okay, now, think you can grab the pole and swing yourself around?" It took the better part of two and a half hours, Dino's coaching, a few non-helpful diagrams and mathematical explanations from Gokudera, heckling from Jill and Bell, and Tsuna meeting 'The Little Prince' who was actually the most helpful of anyone in the strip club.
"You'll become number one in no time." Fuuta said, and though he looked 14, Dino said he was 20, and Tsuna was betting his ACTUAL age was 16. He was, apparently, the best at predicting dancer's popularity, and ran some sort of gambling pool on it. "I can see that the customer's will rate your butt the top draw!"
"F-FUUTA!" Tsuna blushed and turned away. Oh god, even someone YOUNGER than him was talking about his butt! It was just a butt! Tsuna didn't understand why everyone felt the need to compliment it.
"You're all too loud." Hibari's voice cut across the camaraderie, and made something inside of Tsuna go cold. The music Shouichi had on loop cut off, and the spot lights switched off too. Hibari glanced around at them all, and then at the clock. "Get ready, we open soon."
Everyone scurried, like ants, and Tsuna was going to follow Dino when a black clothed arm blocked his path. "Come with me." Hibari ordered, then Hibari turned on his heel and strode backstage. Tsuna followed, wondering what HIbari could want to talk about. Tsuna found himself following Hibari down a hallway he hadn't seen before, and then into a luxuriously appointed office. Hibari pointed at the couch, and then took a seat behind a heavy wooden desk. Then Hibari stared at him, until Tsuna squirmed again.
Hibari pulled out a sheet of paper, wrote some things on it, and tossed it at Tsuna. "Sign that. You're here every day at four, provide receipts for the clothes and props you buy, any money you make from customers is yours to keep, half your paycheck goes to your debt Hibari tossed at pen at Tsuna, which Tsuna unskillfully dodged, then picked up off of his lap. "Sign."
Tsuna signed the contract, barely looking it over, and handed it back to Hibari. Hibari then handed him several sheets, music choices, employee conduct, rules, and a dress code. "Now get out. Your dressing room is next to Bucking Horse's. Your outfit is fine, but a standard rack has been prepared. You'll start buying your own tomorrow." Hibari glared when Tsuna didn't immediately leave. Tsuna clutched the papers to his chest as he walked down the hallway, trying to find his way to the dressing rooms. Was it a right turn? Or... Was it a left turn? Tsuna leafed through the papers Hibari had given him, looking for a map. Rules, rules, more rules, no map.
"Lost?" Someone asked, and Tsuna didn't recognize the voice.
"Y-yeah." Tsuna turned with a smile, then dropped the smile and took a step back. A pair of mismatched eyes glowed at him from the dark.
"Kufufu." A soft chuckle, and the man with the mismatched eyes stepped closer. It didn't make him any less formidable, but Tsuna could see that it wasn't some sort of demon. "A little lost lamb... Skylark really has been letting all of you run free." The man smirked. "Where were you headed, lamb-kun?"
"The dressing rooms. I have to..." Tsuna felt the pounding bass notes through the floor, and he winced, his eyes widening. "I have to get ready!!!" He pushed past the tall man and ran in the direction he thought the dressing rooms were, tripping over cords and air. Suddenly, Tsuna found himself faced with stairs. Th-there had been no stairs heading to Hibari's office! Where was he?! Tsuna looked around, he could go back the way he'd come, or he could go forward. Maybe he'd find help. Carefully Tsuna began creeping up the stairs. He was sure his white socks had to be black with dust by now, but the lights were all so dim. The bass throb got louder and louder, so Tsuna knew he had to be close to the front. Reaching the top of the stairs Tsuna found himself facing a closed door. Reaching out, nervously, he knocked.
The door opened, and Irie Shouichi's face appeared. "..." Both Tsuna and Shouichi stared at each other for a minute. Then Shouichi broke the silence. "I have a map." Shouichi offered, stepping back and opening up the door further. Tsuna entered the room, and looked around while Shouichi leafed through a bunch of papers piled on a table. There were CDs on the table too, most of them burned CD's with various things written on them. 'Bucking Horse' or 'wild night' or 'seducing them slowly'. There was a bunch of technical equipment, and a computer, Tsuna didn't know what the dials and switches were all for.
"Everyone gets lost at first." Shouichi handed Tsuna a map which was color coded and had the emergency exits marked. "Hibari-kun doesn't care." Shouichi shrugged, then pushed past Tsuna so he could adjust a dial. "Dino'll cover for you, but you should head back and get your makeup done."
Tsuna nodded, and turned, but his feet wouldn't move past the door frame. "I. I don't think I can do it." Tsuna admitted. "I..."
Shouichi's voice was flat. "Hibari owns you, if you're still here you signed the contract. The time to say no is past." Tsuna still couldn't make himself leave. Leaving the room would be leaving safety. Shouichi sighed, and suddenly Tsuna found himself with a cold, orange filled bottle in his hands. "That's a virgin screwdriver. If you can't go onstage like you are, go onstage after drinking some of that."
Then Shouichi pushed him out of the room, and closed the door behind him.
Tsuna sighed, and checked the map before heading for his dressing room, the screwdriver clutched tight to his chest. Tsuna got back to the dressing rooms, and noticed that the door with the paper sign 'Spicy Tuna' was open. Tsuna glanced inside, and was pulled right in. "Sit DOWN. Dino shuffled the order around so you aren't late, but don't let Hibari find out." Gokudera scolded,
Tsuna found himself shoved into the chair in front of the make up counter, and the cold bottle taken from him and set aside. "I'll help get your make up on." Gokudera stated, unscrewing a fresh pack of powder. "Close your eyes." Gokudera patted powder all over his face and on his exposed chest, explaining that it cut down on the glare form the lights. Then Gokudera carefully lined Tsuna's eyes with black eyeliner, and then gold eyeshadow. "It'll bring out your eyes." Gokudera said.
"Aaah, Gokudera your presence is requested on the stage!" Another new voice, and using overly formal speech patterns too. Tsuna blinked
"Hold on Basil, I'm just helping out Te- Tsuna-san." Gokudera finished applying the gloss and stepped back. "Okay, you've got 3 minutes and you're on. Be backstage at the door in 20!" Then Gokudera was rushing out. Tsuna was left in the room with Basil.
"I assume you are Sawada Tsunayoshi. I am pleased to make your acquaintance." Basil bowed preemptively, and then stepped into the room. Tsuna glanced in the mirror, surprised by how different he looked. He looked... like a pro. Professional, not prostitute. "It's nice to meet you too... Basil-kun?" Standing, Tsuna reached out to shake Basil's hand.
Basil glanced at the bottle Irie had given him, then bowed deeply. "If it can be of any use to you, sir," Basil pulled out a pill bottle "These always make me feel brave before I go onstage."
"Ah, Irie-san gave me..." Tsuna reached for the bottle, but Basil reached out and stopped him.
"They won't interfere." Basil smiled at him, and Tsuna couldn't help but take the pills. Basil was only trying to be helpful. "Take them before you step onto the stage, they will fill you with dying will, sir." Then Basil bowed, and exited the dressing room. Tsuna belatedly realized that Basil had been wearing some sort of mock samurai outfit. Was all this becoming normal? Tsuna wondered, uncorking the screwdriver and sipping it. It tasted... like orange juice. Good orange juice. Feeling a little braver Tsuna screwed the cap back on and stood up, he palmed two of the pills (they looked like multi-vitamins) and headed for the stage.