kat8cha | (no subject)

Title: Why Pretty Boys Shouldn't Be Smart
Author: K8
Pairing: Saitou/Shirota/Katou/Kotani/Aiba (in no particular order)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: No one's sure how it all started, but they're pretty sure they should blame Saitou or Aiba.
For

juudenkanryoube glad I love you.

Shirota, Aiba, Konii, Saitou, Katou.

No one was entirely sure how the relationship formed. Aiba would tell you it was all Shirota’s fault. Shirota, quite cheerfully and loudly, blamed Katou. For his part Katou would point you calmly in Saitou’s direction before dissolving into laughter. Kotani himself had no idea really, but if he stopped to think about it long enough he would come up with Aiba and Saitou as being at fault. Saitou had no opinion on how everything had coalesced, probably the clearest indication of who was at fault.

Their relationship was definitely nonconformist, and went against almost any type of moral that society upheld. They were all having premarital sex, they were having multiple affairs, all members of the relationship were men, there were five of them, and occasionally they all tumbled together for a big orgy. Definitely not something anyone wanted on the front page of a tabloid. So everything was kept very quiet, even within their circle of friends. Of course, the fact that they all seemed to be dating each other did not go beyond everyone’s notice. Their friends were renowned for sticking their noses where they did not belong after all.

The D-boys were the worst, but luckily wrote it off as Shirota being a playboy. That had, of course sparked an argument over whether Shirota topped them all or if he bottomed. The debate had raged until Aiba had thrown something at them all and told them to shut up and get out of the apartment. Konii had been standing next to Aiba, holding the hair iron away from frantic hands, so the D-boys had left. It had cured their argument anyway, obviously Shirota was in the middle, and Aiba and Kotani bottomed to him.

In reality, like any working relationship, the boys all switched. Aiba seemed to prefer being on bottom though, and while Katou did bottom he didn’t like it all that much. Saitou, Kotani, and Shirota switched up the most. So the D-boys were right, Shirota was mostly in the middle.

How they had all fallen into said relationship was a complicated story.

“You’re studying English?” Aiba jumped as Saitou’s voice rolled over him, the warm tone seeming to cause shivers to run up and down his spine. Before he’d met Saitou Takumi Aiba had never spoken with anyone who’s voice could be called ‘liquid sex’ not even Shirota’s (which Aiba thought was pretty damn hot) or Kazuki’s (which Aiba referred to as ‘mouth-watering’ with Takuya). Not even Gackt, who was all the rage with girls at Aiba’s old school, matched up to Saitou’s. Maybe it was because Gackt have never come up with Aiba and whispered in his ear.

“Ah. Well. Yeah. For ALC.” Aiba shrugged it off, stepping a little away from his costar. Aiba was getting better about personal bubbles, mainly not immediately scooting away when his was entered, still his costar (from Tenimyu and for Sukitomo) made Aiba uneasy. Especially after Aiba had spent the day before with Shirota, Katou, or Konii. Saitou made comments.

It was like he knew Aiba was dating them all.

“Ah. Do you need a tutor?” Saitou moved in front of Aiba, smiling a little. “I’m a fair hand at English.” Aiba debated mentioning the English ‘tutoring’ he was getting from Shirota but doubted anyone could really say he was learning anything. Though Shirota showing him hands on what your tongue did when you said ‘r’ was sorta helpful.

Really.

“Hmm.” Saitou’s smile was edging into smirk territory. “Or should I already assume you have one?”

“No!” Aiba waved his hands in the air. “I’m tutorless. Tutor me away.” Getting a hold of his flailing limbs Aiba set them in his lap again.

“Well okay then.” And Saitou slipped the book out of Aiba’s hands.

“….if this is Shirota please hang up now.” The message made Shirota’s face scrunch up. Just because he left annoying and worthless messages didn’t mean Katou’s answering machine had to be so rude. It was of course the answering machine being rude and not Katou himself.

“We’ve got a problem!” Shirota wailed. “Saitou’s moving in on Aibachii!!!!!” Shirota sniffled for a second before continuing. “You, Konii, and I have an agreement. Saitou’s not part of it! He doesn’t know! He’s going to mess everything up!” Shirota gave his cell phone a baleful look. Shirota had set up a date with Aiba today a while ago, making sure everything was cleared and no one else was going to butt in on his Aibachii time. But Aiba had texted him to say he was going to be running late, when he was a half hour late already, because he and Saitou had gone out and he had lost track of time. Aiba wasn’t supposed to be going out with Saitou!

Shirota admitted that he might not be the brightest crayon in the box, and was completely capable of recognizing when people were smarter then him. Saitou was probably his equal in sexiness, but definitely topped in intelligence. And pretty boys easily distracted Aiba! How was Shirota supposed to keep up?!

“Shirotan?” Aiba called as he opened the unlocked front door and Shirota hastily hung up and turned off his cellphone before rushing over to Aiba.

Katou propped his chin in the palm of one hand, idly musing as he watched the clouds drift across the sky. “Yo. Kazuki.” Kenta dropped down into the seat next to him, glancing out the window to see what so fascinated his friend. “Whatcha doing?”

“Pondering the legalities of kidnapping.” Kenta lifted an eyebrow and kicked Katou under the table.

“Legalities? Kidnappings illegal you know. Like, duh.” Kenta gave Katou one of those ‘I don’t understand you, so spill’ looks he was so good at. On someone else the look would be taken as ‘I’m an idiot’ on Kenta it was ‘I’m cute’. Kenta was always cute, sorta like Takuya, but less wiggly. Well, marginally so.

“What if it’s for the kidnapped’s own good?” Katou kicked back, picking up his coffee and taking a sip, making a face when he realized it had gone cold.

“Having trouble with Aiba?” Kenta snickered a little. Aiba was the only one Katou would think of kidnapping for ‘his own good’. Well, Katou might consider it for Shirota but only if Katou didn’t have to be stuck listening to the other all the time. Kenta could understand that; Shirota violated air pollution laws.

“You could say that.” Setting his coffee back on the table Katou turned to look at Kenta. “How’d you handle Date and Kawaai playing around?”

“I bribed RuiRui to throw himself at Kawaai.” Kenta shrugged. “It worked.” Too well maybe Kawaai and RuiRui, though definitely two of the most professional about their work, had developed a habit of disappearing during rehearsals or when they were backstage during performances. Of course they were always available when needed and there was never a hair out of place. Though Ruito had lost his modesty shorts a few times, and there was that one time when Kawaai had been walking a little funny….

“I doubt flinging someone at Saitou would work.” Katou shook his head.

“Oh shit, Saitou’s making a move on Aiba?” Kenta snickered louder, ducking his head to smother the noise. “Fuck you’re so screwed. Saitou’s all…” Kenta waved his hand around in the air. “Philosophical.”

“He’s also hot.” Katou admitted with a shrug. “And he’s got that voice. Aiba’s doomed.” Katou hung his head, running his hand through it. “Which means we’ve gotta bring him in.”

“Good luck on that.” Kenta patted Katou on the back, giving a smug smirk. “I’m so glad I’m in a monogamous relationship.”

Kotani didn’t know why they had given him this job. Katou had known Aiba the longest, and Shirota was the most devoted to Aiba, Kotani was just in love with him. Apparently though they needed to talk to Saitou as soon as possible and Kotani was the only one who had the time for it. Kotani figured the others were just shirking duties.

“Ah, Konii.” Saitou slid into the other side of the booth. “I was surprised when you called me out.”

“Saitou.” Kotani summoned up a weak smile. “Ah, I’m guessing you don’t know what this is about then.” Kotani’d picked a dark bar because it was less likely they would be recognized in there, also because he was going to need a drink to get through this. Kotani already had one in front of him.

“I’ve got a guess. Aibachii, correct?” Saitou really looked like a shark when he smiled. Kotani thought it was sexy. Checking the level of his glass Kotani shook his head a little. He shouldn’t have had enough to drink to admit to finding Saitou sexy yet.

“You know he’s dating Katou, Shirota, and I right?” It was something most of the Tenimyu cast had caught onto. Most of them also could not understand it. That was okay most of the cast could not understand Endo and Yanagi’s symbiotic relationship either.

“I know.” Saitou was wearing his smug look. Kotani knew that Saitou didn’t wear that look often, only when he was extremely sure of himself. “What I can’t figure out is why you’re not all dating eachother.”

“…bwahuh?”

Shirota eagerly awaited the call from Kotani that evening, and the next morning, and through out most of the day. Deciding that Kotani was just busy and must have called Katou Shirota snuck away for a quick phone call in the men’s lavatory. “Did he call you?” Shirota hissed into his cell phone, hiding in a stall. If Shirota was not extra secretive about this someone would find out and then everyone would know. The entertainment industry was full of horrible gossips.

“No.” Katou was unconcerned, standing outside the recording studio as he talked to Shirota. “I haven’t heard from him yet.”

“Oh.” Shirota pouted.

“Stop pouting.” Katou tsked lightly. “I’m sure he’s just busy. He’ll get back to us later.” Snapping the phone shut and turning it off Katou tucked it away before heading back into the studio.

Shirota scowled when Katou’s voicemail picked up his call. So he hadn’t lost the other due to bad reception. Katou’d shut his phone off. Tucking his own phone away Shirota slipped out of the stall.

“Trouble?” Zukki was leaning against the tiled wall with a grin on his face.

Aiba wasn’t sure but he could swear most of the cast was giving him a wide berth today. Applying his hair wax Aiba kicked his feet under the make up table. It definitely wasn’t his imagination. It was like there was a three foot radius of free space around him. That could only mean that Shirota had gone and done something stupid again. Like sent flowers. Aiba didn’t have any littering his already cluttered space though so it couldn’t be that….

Spotting Seto making a quick exit Aiba set his hair things down and followed the young Eiji actor.

“Seto!” Aiba called out. Seto squeaked, looking over his shoulder and summoning up a small smile.

“Aiba. Did you want something?” Aiba frowned. Sure he hadn’t used Seto’s nickname but Seto rarely didn’t use his.

“What’d he do?”

“W-who?” Seto asked, inching backwards. Aiba followed.

“Shirota. What’d the idiot do now?” Seto was now pressed up against the wall of the hallway and looking distinctly like he wanted to dissapear into it.

“Not anything really. He just told Zukki that he was having trouble with you because Saitou-san was stealing you away and Zukki told everyone else and then Shirota swore us all to secrecy but I’d already told Takki and been overhead by Gaku-san and…”

“…Oh.” Aiba blinked, cutting off Seto’s ramble before it really got going. “Well. I’ll deal with that all after the performance.”

Seto let out a deep breath as Aiba walked away from him. He had a feeling that Shirota might not be so lucky.

“So.” Katou blinked at Shirota, who blinked back at him. “Aiba called you out too?”

“Yeah.” Shirota winced. Oh he had a bad feeling about what this would be about. Katou glanced at Shirota suspiciously in the dim lighting of the restaurant. Aiba had left messages for them to meet at one of his favorite places. It had good food, and lots of it for a decent price. The lamps were all covered in chintzy red shades that gave everything a subdued intimate glow.

“You didn’t….” Katou frowned, shifting the menu in front of him.

“Well, I was just talking to you on the phone! How was I supposed to know Zukki’d followed me!” Shirota exclaimed, then muffled his voice with his hand. “And Zukki’s like a dog with a bone when he’s found something interesting. He doesn’t stop nagging! And he gets everyone else on my case and then Araki figures things out all at once!” It was a little creepy. Why were all the pretty boys so smart? There should be a law against pretty smart boys. Katou gave a sigh and shook his head resignedly.

“It doesn’t matter. I figured we wouldn’t be able to keep it quiet.” Everything with Shirota got blown up and made into a big deal. Shirota was making puppy eyes at him now. “Stop that.” Everything with Shirota became a big deal, including their flirtation. It’d gone a step too far once and they’d ended up in a compromising situation. Not that it hadn’t been fun but neither of them were sure how Aiba would take something like that.

“You’re not mad?” Shirota pouted looking like a little kid who had been scolded harshly. He even summoned tears to hover at the edge of his eyes.

“I can never stay mad at you idiot.” Reaching across the table Katou ruffled Shirota’s hair.

“Aa, sorry I’m late.” Aiba slid into the booth next to Katou and the other pulled his arm back from Shirota in surprise.

“Aibachii!” Shirota reached out, trying to pry the other away from Katou but only managing to hug Aiba against the table. “Why not sit by me?”

“Because you’ll break my ribs holding onto me.” Aiba gasped, squirming. “Like you’re about to break them now idiot!” Shirota let go with a pout and Aiba leaned back, scooting closer to Katou.

“You called Kotani?” Katou questioned, wrapping an arm around Aiba’s shoulders. Shirota gave him a jealous look before crossing his arms over his chest and sulking.

“He didn’t pick up so I left a message.” Aiba shrugged. “I’m sure he’ll be here soon. For right now…” Aiba flipped open the menu. “I’m starved.”

“You’re always hungry Aiba.” An amused voice said and everyone at the table turned to blink in surprise. Saitou was standing just behind Kotani, who was looking more then a little nervous. “Sorry for intruding, but I was with Kotani today when the message came and felt it best to escort him.” As Kotani walked to the table it was hard to miss the small limp in his step. Katou’s eyes widened theatrically and Shirota pointed a finger at Saitou, his cheeks red with emotion.

“You’re the reason we’re all here anyway!” Shirota exclaimed. “Cause you’re gonna steal Aibachii away!”

“Actually,” Saitou watched as Kotani awkwardly sat in the booth. Aiba was looking both confused, intrigued, and sympathetic at the same time. “I’m going to steal you all away.”

“…bwahuh?”

Aiba sleepily blinked open his eyes, snuggling into the warmth surrounding him. “Mmm?” He questioned looking around. His soft noise was overpowered by Shirota’s snores. Glancing at the foot of the bed Aiba spotted Katou already dressing. He held a finger to his lips and motioned to Saitou and Kotani sleeping to one side of Aiba while Shirota was on the other.

Aiba carefully crawled out of the bed, over Shirota of course because Aiba knew the singer could sleep through a freight train. Katou handed him his clothes and Aiba gratefully slipped them on.

“Should we wake Saitou-san up?” Aiba questioned.

“Already awake.” Saitou slipped out of the bed, standing in all his naked glory before the other two. “Are you two hungry?”

Aiba and Katou shared a look, glanced at where Shirota was still snoring and Kotani was beginning to sit up, rubbing at his eyes. They then glanced at Saitou again, both wearing small smirks.

“…we could eat something.”

Shirota didn’t like being woken up before he was ready but he soon found himself too occupied to complain.